心理学｜“当你说不的时候，要像一堵墙，而不能像一扇门。”

Core Idea - The article emphasizes the importance of setting psychological boundaries and the challenges individuals face when trying to say "no" effectively, advocating for a firm and clear approach to refusal. Group 1: Psychological Barriers to Saying "No" - Many individuals struggle to say "no" and often respond with vague terms like "maybe" or "I'll try," which leads to increased demands on their time and energy [1][2] - Three deep-seated fears contribute to this difficulty: fear of conflict, fear of self-worth, and fear of losing control [2][3] Group 2: Characteristics of Effective Refusal - A strong refusal should have three key elements: clarity, impermeability, and self-determination [3][4][5] - Clarity involves delivering a straightforward message without ambiguity, which helps reduce anxiety for both parties [3] - Impermeability means that the refusal should not be seen as a starting point for negotiation, maintaining the integrity of the boundary [4] - Self-determination highlights that saying "no" is about protecting what is truly important, rather than being confrontational [5] Group 3: Practical Exercises for Setting Boundaries - The article suggests practical exercises to help individuals practice saying "no" more effectively, such as giving specific forms to refusals, visualizing potential outcomes, and starting with small boundary-setting actions [5][6][7] - These exercises aim to build confidence in asserting boundaries and recognizing that true kindness involves having strong boundaries [7]