不要在任何关系里讨饭

Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the importance of self-worth and the negative consequences of seeking validation through pleasing others in relationships. It argues that a healthy relationship should be based on mutual respect and equal effort rather than one party feeling inferior or obligated to please the other [4][15][33]. Group 1: Stories Illustrating the Core Viewpoint - The first story features Wang Qing, who, despite her efforts to please her colleagues at a law firm, ends up being taken for granted and loses her self-esteem [5][7]. - The second story revolves around Lydia from "Everything I Never Told You," who sacrifices her own desires to meet her family's expectations, leading to her emotional distress [9][10]. - The third story discusses singer Tsai Chin, who dedicates herself to her husband but ultimately feels unappreciated, highlighting the futility of self-sacrifice in unbalanced relationships [12][14]. Group 2: Psychological Insights - Psychologist Zhang Defen notes that relationships can become exploitative if one party does not assert themselves, leading to a cycle of being undervalued [14][15]. - The article suggests that individuals often teach others how to treat them through their actions, and that seeking validation can lead to being treated poorly [15][29]. - It stresses that relationships should allow individuals to be themselves and that those requiring excessive effort to maintain are unlikely to last [16][29]. Group 3: Examples of Healthy Relationships - The article presents the relationship between actor Ding Haifeng and his wife Tang Ge as a model of mutual support and respect, where both partners contribute equally to each other's success [31][32]. - It highlights that true relationships are built on equality and that love cannot be earned through subservience [31][32]. - The conclusion emphasizes that healthy relationships do not require one to compromise their self-worth and that self-love is essential for attracting meaningful connections [33].