Core Concept - The presentation introduces the "adolescence of aging" as a distinct and challenging life stage where aging parents require increasing support while resisting assistance, mirroring teenage rebellion [1][3] - This stage is characterized by defiance, denial, and decline, leading to disempowerment for both aging parents and their adult children [3][4] Challenges Faced by Adult Children - Adult children often find themselves in a "squeeze," balancing career, family, and caregiving responsibilities, a situation affecting 37 million (百万) in the United States [1] - They experience emotional turmoil, including frustration, fear, and powerlessness, while navigating the changing roles and needs of their aging parents [1] Psychological and Neurological Basis - The "adolescence of aging" has roots in psychology, referencing Erikson's ninth stage of development and Franco's five stages of aging, which describe the shift from independence to end-of-life [1] - Neuroscience suggests that the prefrontal cortex, responsible for risk assessment and self-regulation, may decline with age, leading to behaviors similar to those seen in teenagers [1] The 3Ds: Defiance, Denial, and Decline - Defiance manifests as resistance to losing independence, such as refusing to give up driving, leading to conflicts over safety and control [1] - Denial serves as a defense mechanism against the uncomfortable truth of declining capabilities, with aging parents downplaying incidents like falls or health issues [1][2] - Decline involves physical, cognitive, and emotional changes that can be gradual or sudden, requiring significant caregiving efforts from adult children [3] Disempowerment and Control - Aging parents may experience disempowerment when they lose control over decisions and routines, leading to emotions like shame and anger [3][4] - Adult children, in their efforts to ensure safety, risk stripping away the autonomy of their parents, creating tension between control and freedom [4] Solutions and Support - The presentation introduces the PACE model (Pause, Assess, Choose, Embrace) as a tool for adult children to manage stress and respond with compassion [4] - It emphasizes the importance of normalizing the challenges of aging, building support systems, and having open conversations [10][11] Impact and Legacy - The journey of caring for aging parents shapes relationships with siblings and leaves a lasting impression on children, highlighting the importance of how one shows up during difficult times [7] - The presentation advocates for shifting the narrative around aging, creating language, tools, and supports to better navigate this life stage [11][13]