Good morning Barup community. Have you guys ever felt alone or abandoned. So today I want to talk about something that many of us don't talk about enough.The emotional struggles of children. You see, people often think that childhood is about fun, play, and carefree living. And yes, childhood would be those things.But everything is not that simple. We live in a world where children feel judged and misunderstood. We hear phrases like, "You're just the kid. What do you have to worry about?" But let me ask you ...

Core Argument - The traditional methods of controlling children through anger, threats, and hitting have limited effectiveness and can backfire, especially as children grow older [2][3][33][34] - Connection, built on positive interactions, is a more effective and sustainable approach to influencing children's behavior and fostering cooperation [7][8][9][34] Connection and Influence - Influence is defined as children making decisions in favor of their parents, choosing to cooperate more often [7] - Connection is the key to influence, leading children to feel understood, accepted, and respected, which in turn makes them more receptive to parental guidance [8][14] - Disconnection manifests as children consistently not listening, requiring anger to get things done, feeling misunderstood, or expressing feelings of not being loved [10] Positive vs Negative Interactions - Relationships are built on interactions, and it's crucial to balance positive and negative interactions with children [15][16] - Negative interactions often involve correcting, scolding, comparing, and instructing, while positive interactions involve empathizing, validating, understanding, listening, accepting, praising, laughing, and playing [17][18] - Relationship researcher John Gottman suggests a magic ratio of 5:1 positive to negative interactions to maintain a connected relationship [18] Strategies for Enhancing Connection - Choose your fights: Reduce unnecessary corrections, focusing only on important issues that could cause harm [19][20][21] - Regulate your behavior: Manage your own emotions and avoid taking out stress on your children [22][23] - Listen to children with curiosity: Focus on understanding and validating their feelings rather than immediately offering solutions or explanations [26][27][28][29] - Play with children without distraction: Dedicate 20-30 minutes daily to engage in child-led play, focusing on fun and relationship building rather than instruction [30][31][32] Long-Term Perspective - Parenting involves both a child-adult relationship for the first 18 years and an adult-adult relationship thereafter, emphasizing the importance of investing in connection for the long term [35] - Connection-based parenting does not mean abandoning discipline or boundaries but rather establishing them on a foundation of mutual understanding and respect [35]