Disclaimer: This article is intended for satirical purposes and does not offer financial advice. Market movements are complex and influenced by numerous factors.Ah, Friday, September 26, 2025. A day that began with the usual market jitters, a fresh inflation report, and the ever-present hum of global commerce. Then, like a tweet from yesteryear, came the pronouncements from former President Donald Trump, delivered, naturally, via his preferred digital megaphone, Truth Social. In a move that surprised absolu ...

Key TakeawaysPresident Trump announced a 25% tariff on all heavy trucks manufactured outside the U.S., effective October 1, 2025, aimed at protecting domestic industry.Bank reserves at the Federal Reserve have fallen below $3 trillion, signaling a significant liquidity drain in the financial system.Australian miner Lynas Rare Earths Ltd (LYC) is experiencing its strongest market gains in nearly a decade, benefiting from escalating US-China trade tensions.Economic growth in EBRD countries is edging higher, b ...