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人与人之间有一条交往铁律:人近则贱
洞见· 2025-09-19 12:35
Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the importance of maintaining appropriate boundaries in relationships to foster healthy interactions and prevent conflicts. It suggests that too much closeness can lead to misunderstandings and resentment, advocating for a balanced approach to social connections. Group 1: Importance of Boundaries - Healthy relationships require a balance of closeness and distance, as excessive intimacy can lead to a lack of respect and understanding [4][15][20] - The concept of "personal boundaries" is crucial; losing these boundaries can result in a loss of individuality and lead to conflicts [19][20][36] - The analogy of porcupines illustrates that while individuals may seek warmth in relationships, they must also be cautious of the pain that excessive closeness can cause [22][36] Group 2: Examples and Anecdotes - The story of writer W. Somerset Maugham highlights how a close friendship can turn sour when boundaries are not respected, leading to financial strain and emotional discomfort [12][15][19] - The relationship between philosophers Albert Camus and Jean-Paul Sartre serves as an example of how blurred boundaries can lead to the end of a friendship due to external pressures and personal issues [19][20] - The friendship between Wang Jizhen and Shen Congwen demonstrates that mutual understanding and respect for each other's space can sustain a long-distance relationship without diminishing emotional ties [24][32][36]
深度了解自己|愤怒,被压抑的生命力与边界宣言
Jing Ji Guan Cha Bao· 2025-07-30 00:11
(原标题:深度了解自己|愤怒,被压抑的生命力与边界宣言) 我们对愤怒的恐惧并非与生俱来,而是后天被社会规训"教化"的结果。 性别规训在这场规训中扮演着举足轻重的角色。男孩自幼被灌输"男子汉不能哭"的观念,愤怒便成了他 们情绪宣泄的唯一"合法通道"。他们学会用摔门、争吵等激烈手段表达不满,却失去了说出"我感到委 屈"的勇气。女孩则被框定在"温柔懂事"的狭小框架里,愤怒在她们身上轻易就被等同于"泼妇""歇斯底 里"。许多女性甚至会在愤怒涌上心头时,本能地自我厌恶:"我怎么变得这么可怕。" 童年经历更是如同一把刻刀,在我们对愤怒的认知上留下或深或浅的烙印。如果小时候发脾气换来的 是"再闹就不要你了""发脾气的不是好孩子"这类冰冷回应,我们便会将"愤怒=不被爱"的认知深深刻进 心底。长大后,哪怕遭遇严重冒犯,第一反应也是压抑情绪,选择"算了,别惹事"。久而久之,连"拒 绝"这个词,都被遗忘在记忆的角落。 愤怒经常被扣上"坏情绪"的帽子,贴上"失控的野兽""关系的杀手""修养的污点"这类坏标签。 不过心理学研究早就打破了对愤怒情绪的偏见。愤怒作为内心感受的信使,其实在告诉我们说:"你的 底线被冒犯了""你的需求被忽视了 ...