Core Viewpoint - The true attraction in marriage comes from the richness of one's own world, and the dynamics of relationships are determined by value and benefit rather than just emotional depth [20][21][22]. Group 1: Understanding Human Nature in Marriage - Many individuals mistakenly believe that relentless giving will earn them appreciation, only to realize that unvalued contributions are often taken for granted [7][10]. - The experiences of a woman who sacrificed her career for her husband's entrepreneurship illustrate that selfless acts can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment when not reciprocated [9][11]. - The notion that marriage requires continuous value addition rather than mere selfless giving is emphasized, highlighting that relationships thrive on mutual benefit [13][20]. Group 2: Acceptance Over Change - The difficulty in marriage often stems from the desire to change one's partner, which can lead to conflict and dissatisfaction [26][32]. - A personal account reveals that expecting a partner to evolve into an idealized version can create tension, as seen in a friend's experience with her husband [30][33]. - Recognizing and accepting a partner's imperfections is crucial for a lasting relationship, as true love involves embracing the real, flawed individual [39]. Group 3: Independence Over Dependence - Unrealistic expectations of marriage as a lifelong refuge can lead to disappointment, as illustrated by the story of a woman who lost her identity in her husband's success [41][47]. - The narrative of J.K. Rowling demonstrates that personal hardships can lead to self-reliance and independence, ultimately fostering resilience and personal growth [50][52]. - The realization that true security comes from self-sufficiency rather than reliance on a partner is a vital lesson in navigating relationships [53][54].

Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes that there is no perfect marriage, only happiness that comes from careful management and understanding of relationships [5][70]. Group 1: Letting Go of Expectations - High expectations in a relationship often lead to disappointment and conflict, as illustrated by the story of Janet and Brad, who struggled due to their unrealistic expectations of each other [9][11][14]. - Reducing expectations can lead to a more mature and fulfilling marriage, as shown by the experience of Professor Shen Yifei, who learned to communicate her needs directly [22][24]. - The essence of a successful relationship lies in loving each other as they are, rather than trying to mold each other into ideal partners [36][37]. Group 2: Letting Go of the Desire to Change - Attempting to change a partner often leads to frustration and conflict, as demonstrated by Christopher's experience of trying to reshape his wife into his ideal [28][34]. - True love involves appreciation and respect for each other's individuality, rather than imposing personal desires on the partner [39][46]. Group 3: Letting Go of the Need to Win - A competitive mindset in a relationship can create tension and conflict, as illustrated by the story of Rao Pingru, who prioritized emotional connection over being right [40][47]. - A loving home should not be a battleground for winning arguments; instead, it should be a space for mutual respect and understanding [46][49]. Group 4: Letting Go of Control - Over-controlling behavior can lead to resentment and anxiety in a relationship, as seen in the story of Vanessa and Richard, where Richard's controlling nature ultimately led to their divorce [53][57]. - Healthy relationships require a balance of closeness and personal space, allowing each partner to maintain their individuality [63][65].