Core Viewpoint - The true attraction in marriage comes from the richness of one's own world, and the dynamics of relationships are determined by value and benefit rather than just emotional depth [20][21][22]. Group 1: Understanding Human Nature in Marriage - Many individuals mistakenly believe that relentless giving will earn them appreciation, only to realize that unvalued contributions are often taken for granted [7][10]. - The experiences of a woman who sacrificed her career for her husband's entrepreneurship illustrate that selfless acts can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment when not reciprocated [9][11]. - The notion that marriage requires continuous value addition rather than mere selfless giving is emphasized, highlighting that relationships thrive on mutual benefit [13][20]. Group 2: Acceptance Over Change - The difficulty in marriage often stems from the desire to change one's partner, which can lead to conflict and dissatisfaction [26][32]. - A personal account reveals that expecting a partner to evolve into an idealized version can create tension, as seen in a friend's experience with her husband [30][33]. - Recognizing and accepting a partner's imperfections is crucial for a lasting relationship, as true love involves embracing the real, flawed individual [39]. Group 3: Independence Over Dependence - Unrealistic expectations of marriage as a lifelong refuge can lead to disappointment, as illustrated by the story of a woman who lost her identity in her husband's success [41][47]. - The narrative of J.K. Rowling demonstrates that personal hardships can lead to self-reliance and independence, ultimately fostering resilience and personal growth [50][52]. - The realization that true security comes from self-sufficiency rather than reliance on a partner is a vital lesson in navigating relationships [53][54].

洞见 （ DJ00123987 ） —— 不一样的观点，不一样的故事， 3000 万人订阅的微信大号。点击标题下 蓝字 " 洞见 " 关注，我们将为您提供有价值、有意思的延伸阅读。 作者： 洞见jinian 没有天生完美的婚姻，只有用心经营的幸福。 ♬ 点上方播放按钮可收听洞见主播韩丹 朗读音频 听过一个比喻： 内耗式的婚姻就像两只想取暖的刺猬，越靠近越受伤。 这种婚姻，没有背叛，也没有暴力，却能让人在日复一日的消耗中筋疲力尽。 有句话说过：没有人不渴望婚姻幸福，只是有人不懂得怎样让婚姻幸福。 很多夫妻之所以会内耗，原因就在于他们太想要一个完美的伴侣。 却不知，没有天生完美的婚姻，只有用心经营的幸福。 想要婚姻停止内耗，先从四次放下开始。 01 原因就在于，两人对彼此都过于期待。 珍妮特理想中的丈夫，既要理解她的感受，又要在职场上叱咤风云，还要在家里和孩子打成一 片。 可婚后，布拉德除了工作，一心都扑在游戏上。 放下期待欲 美国咨询师罗兰·弥勒曾做过25年的关系研究。 他经常被问到一个问题：为什么越是在乎一段关系，就越容易感到失望？ 他这样回答：因为你抱有太高的期望，总希望对方按你的想法做事。 在婚姻里，你期 ...