Core Insights - The article emphasizes the importance of not responding to malicious comments, suggesting that silence is a more effective psychological defense than retaliation [1][6][7] Group 1: Reasons for Responding to Malice - Individuals often feel compelled to respond to malice as a form of self-protection, activating a "fight or flight" response when hurt [2][3] - The desire for fairness drives many to believe that not responding equates to accepting blame, leading to internalized feelings of inadequacy [2][3] - Responding to malice can consume significant psychological energy, akin to fighting in a quagmire where the more one struggles, the deeper one sinks [3] Group 2: Consequences of Responding to Malice - Engaging with malice can trap individuals in a "self-justification trap," where they inadvertently play by the aggressor's rules [3] - Responses to malice can amplify its spread due to the "negative bias" theory, where negative information is more memorable and impactful [3] Group 3: Strategies for Dealing with Malice - Distinguishing between "facts" and "opinions" is crucial, as malice often stems from personal emotions rather than objective truths [4] - Practicing "not engaging" is a form of psychological boundary-setting, allowing individuals to maintain emotional control [4][5] - Techniques such as "psychological detachment" can help individuals pause and reassess the situation before reacting [4] Group 4: Long-term Benefits of Not Responding - Not responding to malice can lead to greater emotional stability, reducing susceptibility to anger and fostering a peaceful mindset [6] - Relationships may become more relaxed as individuals stop feeling the need to prove themselves, leading to mutual respect [6] - Each instance of not responding strengthens psychological resilience, making individuals less vulnerable to future harm [6]

回复如下： 你的来信让我想起一个心理学实验：实验者让两组人分别想象"1小时后要上台演讲"和"此刻正在喝一杯 热茶"。结果发现，前一组的实验者心跳加速、手心出汗的比例是后一组的3倍。这种对未来的过度预 演，正悄悄偷走我们感受当下的能力。 人的大脑天生存在一种"负面偏好"机制。从人类漫长的进化历程来看，这种特性其实是生存的"保护 伞"。在远古的丛林社会中，那些对潜在危险、不确定因素更敏感，更善于谋划、计划和躲避风险的个 体，往往更容易在残酷的环境中存活下来。然而，在现代社会，虽然我们不再面临野兽侵袭、食物短缺 等致命威胁，却被无数不致命却琐碎的焦虑所包围。工作群里未读的@消息、朋友圈他人光鲜的生活、 孩子成长过程中的小状况……这些细小的"焦虑因子"随时可能触发我们的焦虑反应，让大脑陷入永不停 歇的"高速运转"状态。就像你说的，哪怕安静地坐着休息，脑海中也不断上演着未来的"灾难故事"，心 理始终处于防御状态。表面上是在休息，实际上身心都被无形的焦虑拉扯着，无法获得真正的放松。 想要改变这种状况，最重要的是学会区分自己的事、别人的事和老天爷的事，这本质上也是区分我们能 控制和不可控制的事情。老天爷的事，比如天气变化、 ...