Societal Values and Meritocracy - Singaporean society emphasizes speed, efficiency, and results, leading to a culture where falling behind equates to becoming irrelevant [2] - The pursuit of external validation and recognition is deeply ingrained, with self-worth often tied to achievements and results praised in a meritocratic system [9][11] - The meritocratic system rewards "seen effort," creating pressure to maintain unsustainable lifestyles to stay relevant [9][11] Personal Growth and Redefining Success - The speaker initially prioritized academic success and external validation, feeling like "nothing" if not recognized by important figures [4][5] - A shift in perspective occurred through interactions with individuals in the background, such as the drink stall auntie and the cleaning uncle, leading to an understanding of the value of presence and consistency [7][8] - The speaker learned to slow down, let go of rigid plans, and stop needing to be seen, finding value in the quiet moments and the contributions of those often overlooked [6][7] Foundations and Character - True character is built in quiet, invisible moments, emphasizing that not everything needs to be seen to be valuable [13][14] - Foundations are built in the background, unseen but essential, suggesting that who one is in private shapes who one becomes in public [13][15] - Growth and refinement occur in the quiet, unnoticed work, highlighting the importance of the moments before results and recognition [16][17]

[Music] Thank you Ria for that wonderful introduction which I wrote using Chaji PT but you made it sound really profound. 12th October 2024 I was at home with my 3 and a half yearear-old daughter. I decided to turn off all the lights and I just lit a candle because I wanted that father daughter time with less distraction. My daughter got into her imaginary world of cooking. She said, "Appa, do you want to have noodles. " I said, "Sure, why not. " "M yum." "Appa, do you want to haveana. " Monaana is mosarana ...

[Applause] I want to start by asking you to think about someone you deeply admire. Perhaps it's a leader in your field, a public figure who's made a difference. Ask or maybe someone close to home, a mentor, a family member, a friend, and ask yourself, what is it about that person that commands your respect.Is it their accomplishments alone, their talents, their heights that they've achieved, or is it something more. In most cases, what truly earns our lasting admiration goes beyond mere achievement. It's no ...

From @WSJopinion: Courage and character aren’t merely individual aspirations. These traits make America the home of the brave. And as Carl von Clausewitz said some 200 years ago, the future of a country depends on them, writes Mike Singletary. https://t.co/HbRVT8dltZ ...

Parenting & Child Development - Parenting is a challenging responsibility, often filled with sacrifices and worries unseen by children [1][2] - Parents, though flawed, strive to prepare their children for the future through rules, scoldings, stories, and routines [3] - Some parents unintentionally create a fear of failure in their children through perfectionism, while others prioritize wealth over character [4] - Raising children involves shaping values and providing a nurturing environment, not just providing material needs [5] - Children learn by observing their parents' actions, including how they treat others, react to stress, and handle anger [6][7] - The "do as I say, not as I do" approach is ineffective because children sense hypocrisy and inconsistency [8] - Children measure permission based on their parents' habits, not moderation [11] - Negative parental behaviors, such as alcoholism and emotional neglect, can be passed down to the next generation [12][13] - Cycles of negative behavior can be broken through awareness, forgiveness, and choosing to keep the positive aspects while leaving behind the negative [15][19] - Individuals should assess the intent behind words, distinguishing between those said out of love and those that are abusive [17][18]

Personal Development & Success Measurement - Traditional benchmarks like KPIs, productivity trackers, social media metrics, and achievements are often used as measures of personal success, but they can be misleading [8] - The speaker proposes shifting the focus from "doing" and "achieving" to "becoming," emphasizing internal growth in areas like capacity, compassion, courage, integrity, grit, and kindness [9][11][12] - The "becoming scorecard" involves reflecting on daily growth in areas like self-awareness, courage, compassion, and learning [17][18][19][20][21] Overcoming Fear of Failure - Fear of failure can hinder individuals from pursuing ventures with the potential for failure, limiting opportunities [4] - The speaker's personal experience of avoiding challenging subjects in university qualification exams due to fear of failure led to difficulties later on [5][6][7] - Choosing courses relevant to personal growth, even if challenging, is aligned with the desired personal development [19] Fulfillment & Long-Term Impact - External validations and benchmarks provide fleeting happiness, while internal character development leads to lasting fulfillment [14][26] - Focusing on "becoming" ensures that even if goals are not met, the personal growth achieved along the way provides satisfaction [25][26] - The speaker's mentor advised reflecting daily on what was learned and how one grew, creating an internal compass for measuring what matters [15][16]