How many of us have had a grinding stone before. How many of us have seen one. You've seen a grinding stone. How many of us have used a grinding stone.Okay. So, this is not so much of a Gen Z audience and I'm excited. So you see, I was raised by my mom and he raised us, the three of us, my brothers and I, alone.My father died when I was eight and even then I didn't really have a relationship with him. So I was raised by my mom. My mom was one of those super moms who believed that if you could eat, then you ...

Hello neighbors. That's how Mr. . Rogers always began his children's television show by calling everyone neighbor.It was his way of saying that we all belong here just as we are. Now, you might not expect a chemist turned tech entrepreneur to be here to talk about the transformative power of neighborliness. Maybe you'd anticipate a story about the startup grind or the challenges that women face in male-dominated industries or the odds against a bootstrap founder.Instead, my hope is that you will leave our t ...

Societal Values and Meritocracy - Singaporean society emphasizes speed, efficiency, and results, leading to a culture where falling behind equates to becoming irrelevant [2] - The pursuit of external validation and recognition is deeply ingrained, with self-worth often tied to achievements and results praised in a meritocratic system [9][11] - The meritocratic system rewards "seen effort," creating pressure to maintain unsustainable lifestyles to stay relevant [9][11] Personal Growth and Redefining Success - The speaker initially prioritized academic success and external validation, feeling like "nothing" if not recognized by important figures [4][5] - A shift in perspective occurred through interactions with individuals in the background, such as the drink stall auntie and the cleaning uncle, leading to an understanding of the value of presence and consistency [7][8] - The speaker learned to slow down, let go of rigid plans, and stop needing to be seen, finding value in the quiet moments and the contributions of those often overlooked [6][7] Foundations and Character - True character is built in quiet, invisible moments, emphasizing that not everything needs to be seen to be valuable [13][14] - Foundations are built in the background, unseen but essential, suggesting that who one is in private shapes who one becomes in public [13][15] - Growth and refinement occur in the quiet, unnoticed work, highlighting the importance of the moments before results and recognition [16][17]

Core Concept: The Eight C's Framework - The framework consists of eight key elements: Core, Compliment, Catalyst, Context, Character, Creativity, Countdown, and Contaminant, essential for achieving desired outcomes [4] - The framework emphasizes understanding what to do (Core to Countdown) and, crucially, what *not* to do (Contaminant) [4] - The framework suggests that a lack of clarity regarding these eight elements is the primary reason for failure in achieving desired outcomes [4] Application of the Eight C's - **Core:** The essential, non-negotiable element required for the desired outcome, such as tea powder for making tea [4] - **Compliment:** Elements that enhance the core but are not essential and can be substituted, like milk or sugar in tea [4] - **Catalyst:** Factors that accelerate and facilitate the process, such as an electric stove [4] - **Context:** The environment and conditions that can either support or hinder the desired outcome [4] - **Character:** The attitude and focus on results, avoiding excuses when facing challenges [5] - **Creativity:** The addition of unique elements to enhance the outcome, such as adding ginger or cinnamon to tea [5] - **Countdown:** The time constraints and deadlines that affect the outcome [4] - **Contaminant:** Anything in excess that hinders the desired outcome, such as overthinking [4][5] Insights and Observations - People often attribute failure to lack of time, resources, or external factors, but the root cause is often a lack of clarity regarding the eight C's [4] - Spending excessive time and effort on "Compliment" elements may not satisfy everyone [4] - Focusing on the eight C's can lead to achieving the desired outcome [15]

Core Argument - Ability can propel individuals to the top, but character is essential for sustained success and lasting influence [3] - Character is defined by actions taken when no one is watching, reflecting integrity, humility, resilience, and empathy [6][7][9][10] Character Dimensions - Integrity involves aligning words and actions, maintaining consistency between public and private life [9] - Humility is recognizing dependence on others and the continuous need for learning, focusing less on oneself [9] - Resilience is the capacity to withstand setbacks without compromising values, revealing character during struggles [10] - Empathy is the ability to understand others' perspectives and treat everyone with dignity, regardless of status [10] Financial Industry Examples - Leaders who prioritize short-term gains and cut ethical corners face eventual disgrace, despite initial success [11][12] - Leaders with integrity, transparency, and mutual respect build trust and navigate difficulties successfully [12][13] - Radical transparency and intellectual honesty, as exemplified by Ray Dalio, contribute to sustainable achievement [14] - Prioritizing clients over personal gain, as demonstrated by John Bogle, builds trusted brands [15][16] - Character flaws can lead to significant financial fraud, destroying lives, as seen with Bernie Madoff [16] Importance of Trust - Trust is a valuable asset that sustains relationships and provides support during challenging times [17] - Strong character provides clarity, consistency, and resilience, acting as a foundation during crises [18][19] Cultivating Character - Invest in character development through ethical leadership resources and mentorship [20] - Build accountability structures with individuals who provide honest feedback [21] - Practice making character-based decisions consistently in small moments [21]

Core Values & National Identity - Courage and character are not just individual aspirations, they define America's identity as the "home of the brave" [1] - A nation's future hinges on courage and character, as highlighted by Carl von Clausewitz approximately 200 years ago [1] Societal Impact - These traits are crucial for the well-being and future prospects of a country [1]

Parenting & Child Development - Parenting is a challenging responsibility, often filled with sacrifices and worries unseen by children [1][2] - Parents, though flawed, strive to prepare their children for the future through rules, scoldings, stories, and routines [3] - Some parents unintentionally create a fear of failure in their children through perfectionism, while others prioritize wealth over character [4] - Raising children involves shaping values and providing a nurturing environment, not just providing material needs [5] - Children learn by observing their parents' actions, including how they treat others, react to stress, and handle anger [6][7] - The "do as I say, not as I do" approach is ineffective because children sense hypocrisy and inconsistency [8] - Children measure permission based on their parents' habits, not moderation [11] - Negative parental behaviors, such as alcoholism and emotional neglect, can be passed down to the next generation [12][13] - Cycles of negative behavior can be broken through awareness, forgiveness, and choosing to keep the positive aspects while leaving behind the negative [15][19] - Individuals should assess the intent behind words, distinguishing between those said out of love and those that are abusive [17][18]

Personal Development & Success Measurement - Traditional benchmarks like KPIs, productivity trackers, social media metrics, and achievements are often used as measures of personal success, but they can be misleading [8] - The speaker proposes shifting the focus from "doing" and "achieving" to "becoming," emphasizing internal growth in areas like capacity, compassion, courage, integrity, grit, and kindness [9][11][12] - The "becoming scorecard" involves reflecting on daily growth in areas like self-awareness, courage, compassion, and learning [17][18][19][20][21] Overcoming Fear of Failure - Fear of failure can hinder individuals from pursuing ventures with the potential for failure, limiting opportunities [4] - The speaker's personal experience of avoiding challenging subjects in university qualification exams due to fear of failure led to difficulties later on [5][6][7] - Choosing courses relevant to personal growth, even if challenging, is aligned with the desired personal development [19] Fulfillment & Long-Term Impact - External validations and benchmarks provide fleeting happiness, while internal character development leads to lasting fulfillment [14][26] - Focusing on "becoming" ensures that even if goals are not met, the personal growth achieved along the way provides satisfaction [25][26] - The speaker's mentor advised reflecting daily on what was learned and how one grew, creating an internal compass for measuring what matters [15][16]