（原标题：孩子爱说这4句话，说明他骨子里很自卑，父母别不在意） 周末，带孩子在公园玩，看到这样一幕。 几个孩子在玩飞盘，轮到一个七八岁的小男孩时，他屡次后退，扭头对她妈妈说："我不行，我扔不准 的。" "我不行" 有位妈妈说： "试试嘛，没关系！" 妈妈鼓励道。 男孩手指绞着衣角："他们扔得都比我好，算了，我看你们玩就好。" 我注意到，就一会功夫，男孩说的最多的就是"我不行""我做不好"类的话。 很多家长觉得，孩子随口而出的这类话没什么，但其实这背后可能是自卑的信号。 那些脱口而出的负面话语，不起眼的口头禅，往往藏着他们对自我的否定、对世界的胆怯。 如果孩子经常说这4句话，说明他骨子里很自卑，家长一定要及时干预。 01 自己的女儿6岁，不管做什么都爱说"我不行"。 幼儿园组织唱歌比赛，老师选了她，她却哭着拒绝："我不行，我唱得不好听。" 妈妈带她在家练习，明明唱得不错，可她还是不自信："别人都比我唱得好，我肯定会输。" 其实，孩子说"我不行"，往往不是能力问题，而是过往的挫折体验和不当反馈，让他形成了对失败的恐 惧预期。 从心理学角度看，这和 "自我效能感" 有关。 自我效能感是孩子对自己能否做好一件事的判断 ...

Core Insights - The article emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence, or "heart intelligence," in overcoming life's challenges and achieving success [4][17][24] - It discusses how individuals with high emotional intelligence can maintain composure in difficult situations, while those with low emotional intelligence may succumb to despair [4][20] Summary by Sections Emotional Intelligence - Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to manage psychological stress and maintain a good mental state [4][17] - The article cites examples of individuals who faced significant setbacks but ultimately failed to cope due to their low emotional resilience [8][12][20] Personal Stories - The narrative includes stories of individuals like Raghav, who, despite being a talented student, took his own life after failing an important exam [6][8] - Another example is Robert Howard, a writer whose works were rejected multiple times before gaining posthumous fame, illustrating the tragic consequences of mental collapse [10][12] Strategies to Enhance Emotional Intelligence 1. **Collaborate with the Brain**: Enhancing self-efficacy through small achievements can help individuals build confidence and combat feelings of failure [26] 2. **Cultivate a Growth Mindset**: Adopting a growth mindset allows individuals to view failures as opportunities for learning and development, fostering resilience [27] 3. **Work with the Body**: Engaging in physical activities can strengthen psychological endurance, helping individuals push through difficult times [29] Conclusion - The article concludes that emotional intelligence can be developed and is a crucial competitive advantage in life, encouraging readers to actively work on improving their emotional resilience [29]

Core Concept - The core element of success is psychological resilience, which is more crucial than IQ or EQ [1] Group 1: Characteristics of Psychological Resilience - Psychological resilience is a combination of three forces: adaptability, recovery, and intrinsic motivation [3] - Adaptability is the ability to adjust to changing environments and challenges, allowing individuals to maintain composure and develop new skills [4] - Recovery refers to the capacity to bounce back quickly from setbacks, with resilient individuals able to regain their motivation and energy after failures [5][8] - Intrinsic motivation is the internal drive that sustains long-term commitment to goals, enabling individuals to persevere even in the absence of external rewards [9][10] Group 2: Methods to Enhance Psychological Resilience - Enhancing self-efficacy is essential, which involves believing in one's ability to achieve desired outcomes and recognizing that success is due to personal capability rather than luck [13][15] - Visualization techniques, such as mental rehearsal of successful performances, can strengthen confidence and improve performance under pressure [17] - Psychological resilience acts as a leverage effect, helping individuals to build confidence through overcoming challenges and maintaining persistence despite difficulties [18][25]

Group 1 - The core idea is that children may not be lazy but rather experiencing low energy levels, which can lead to various behavioral issues [1][11][15] - A case study of a child named Xiao Tang illustrates the transition from being self-disciplined and lively to exhibiting signs of low energy, such as reluctance to get out of bed and engage in activities [3][4][5][6] - The article emphasizes the importance of recognizing low energy in children and the potential consequences, including depression, anxiety, and rebellious behavior [15][16][10] Group 2 - Three methods are suggested to help recharge a child's energy: focusing on the spiritual energy field, brain energy field, and physical energy field [17] - For the spiritual energy field, it is important to address negative thought patterns and enhance self-efficacy through psychological assessment and mindfulness training [18][21][24] - The brain energy field can be improved by managing tasks effectively, prioritizing important activities, and reducing distractions to enhance focus and productivity [26][30][31] - The physical energy field is crucial, as regular exercise can significantly boost a child's energy levels and overall well-being, with exercise being as effective as medication for depression [32][36]

Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes that raising emotionally stable and strong boys requires love and acceptance, rather than strict discipline or criticism. It suggests that parents should communicate effectively with their sons to foster resilience and emotional intelligence [41]. Summary by Sections Understanding Boys' Behavior - Boys are often perceived as more difficult to raise than girls due to their impulsive behavior and emotional volatility, which can be attributed to slower development of the prefrontal cortex [6][7]. - Parents need to invest more patience and energy to manage their sons' high energy levels and rebellious phases [7]. Key Phrases for Emotional Development - "No one is perfect; making mistakes is part of growth." This encourages boys to accept their imperfections and reduces fear of failure [9][10]. - "You don't have to know everything, but be brave to ask why." This promotes curiosity and reduces anxiety about not understanding [12]. - "Failure simply tells you that this method doesn't work; try another." This helps boys reframe failure as a learning opportunity [13][14]. - "Even if you cry, you are still a man." Accepting emotional expression is crucial for boys' emotional health [17][18]. - "You can be angry, but express it properly." Teaching boys to articulate their feelings helps them manage emotions better [20][22]. - "Your feelings are important; it's normal to have emotions, and we understand." Validating emotions builds a sense of security [25][27]. - "Some things you can't control, but you can choose how to face them." This fosters a sense of agency and reduces feelings of helplessness [28][30]. - "There are always more solutions than problems; let's think of solutions together." This encourages problem-solving skills [34]. - "I believe you can do it." Parental trust boosts boys' self-efficacy and confidence [35][36]. - "Whenever you need, mom and dad are behind you." This provides unconditional support and security [40]. Conclusion - The article concludes that nurturing strong boys is about teaching them to accept imperfection, express emotions, and solve problems, which are essential skills for their emotional and psychological development [41].

Group 1 - The article discusses the negative impact of overindulgence in parenting, particularly how it affects children's ability to cope with challenges and develop resilience [6][10][12] - It highlights a specific case of a girl who has developed anxiety towards school and learning due to her parents' tendency to shield her from difficulties [2][4][8] - The concept of "adversity quotient" (AQ) is introduced, emphasizing its importance alongside IQ and EQ in determining a person's ability to handle setbacks [11][12][14] Group 2 - The article argues that low AQ can lead to severe consequences, including a lack of self-confidence and an inability to face life's challenges, which can manifest in extreme cases such as suicidal behavior among children [12][15] - It suggests that parents should allow children to experience failure and learn problem-solving skills to build their self-efficacy and resilience [14][15] - The societal pressure on parents to ensure their children's success is critiqued, noting that this pressure can lead to detrimental parenting practices that ultimately hinder children's development [15][16]

Core Insights - The article discusses the importance of recognizing low energy levels as signals from the brain indicating the need for rest and self-care [4] Group 1: Focus and Attention - Adults typically have a focused attention span of 20 to 40 minutes without distractions [6] - This attention span can vary based on task difficulty and interest [7] - The "Pomodoro Technique" is suggested, which involves working for 25 minutes followed by a 5-minute break [7] Group 2: Tailored Rest Strategies - Resting strategies should be customized based on individual work environments and characteristics [9] - For sedentary jobs, such as administrative roles, eye strain can occur from prolonged screen time [10] - Techniques like "eye tai chi" can help alleviate eye fatigue [11] Group 3: Physical and Mental Fatigue - Jobs requiring constant standing and high interaction can lead to significant emotional and physical fatigue [11] - Short "micro-movement" breaks of 3 to 5 minutes every hour are recommended [12] - For high-intensity cognitive work, engaging in activities that switch sensory focus can combat creative burnout [13] Group 4: Outdoor Benefits - Spending time outdoors can address various issues, such as promoting vitamin D synthesis and reducing eye strain [19] - Taking breaks outside during lunch or work intervals can refresh the mind [19] Group 5: Small Task Accomplishments - Starting with small, manageable tasks can create a sense of control and accomplishment [20] - Completing minor tasks signals to the brain that progress is being made, enhancing self-efficacy over time [23]

Group 1 - The article emphasizes the importance of having a clear sense of purpose to avoid feelings of confusion and aimlessness in life [5][6][7] - It illustrates the journey of a filmmaker who transitioned from a medical student to a successful director, highlighting the significance of setting and pursuing personal goals [8][14][16] - The concept of being a "meaning maker" is introduced, suggesting that individuals should actively shape their own sense of purpose and direction in life [17][19][21] Group 2 - The article discusses the role of small achievements in building self-efficacy, using the example of an author who started with minimal daily goals to improve his life [25][32][39] - It highlights that focusing on small tasks can lead to a sense of accomplishment, which helps combat feelings of confusion and despair [45][44] - The importance of responsibility is emphasized, showcasing how personal obligations can drive individuals to overcome challenges and find motivation [47][51][62]

Group 1 - The increasing trend of school refusal among younger children highlights a growing concern in the educational and psychological landscape [1][2] - School refusal is often misinterpreted as laziness or rebellion, but it reflects deeper psychological struggles and family dynamics [1][2] - Understanding the underlying causes of school refusal is essential for effective intervention and support [1][9] Group 2 - Five core reasons for school refusal include: 1. Overwhelming pressure from academic demands, peer competition, and parental expectations leading to avoidance behavior [2] 2. A lack of belonging, where negative social experiences transform school from a supportive environment to a source of stress [3] 3. A collapse of self-efficacy, where repeated academic failures lead to a belief in one's inability to succeed [4] 4. A loss of meaning in education when external goals overshadow personal interests [5] 5. Hidden expressions of psychological trauma or disorders, such as anxiety or ADHD, manifesting as school refusal [7][6] Group 3 - Adolescents are particularly vulnerable to school refusal due to ongoing brain development, especially in areas responsible for emotional regulation and impulse control [8] - The immaturity of the prefrontal cortex makes it difficult for adolescents to manage stress rationally, often resulting in impulsive avoidance behaviors [8] - Increased pressure from parents can exacerbate the situation, leading to stronger resistance and emotional turmoil in children [8]

Core Viewpoint - The article explores the psychological growth of the character Li Shande in the drama "The Lychee of Chang'an," illustrating the ancient wisdom of "practicing in affairs" through modern psychological perspectives [2][8]. Group 1: Initial Psychological State - Li Shande initially experiences fear and avoidance when faced with the daunting task of being the "Lychee Envoy," reflecting a common human instinct for self-protection [3]. - His initial reaction includes attempts to evade responsibility, showcasing a psychological defense mechanism triggered by perceived threats [3]. Group 2: Action and Control - As Li Shande engages in the task, he encounters numerous challenges but utilizes his mathematical skills and innovative methods to overcome them, marking a shift from fear to a sense of control [4]. - This phase highlights the concept of self-efficacy, where each small success enhances his confidence and ability to manage the task [4]. Group 3: Team Collaboration - Li Shande transitions from a solitary approach to recognizing the importance of teamwork, collaborating with others to achieve the task effectively [5]. - This shift represents a move from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, emphasizing the value of learning and cooperation in enhancing capabilities [5]. Group 4: Moral Courage - Upon completing the task, Li Shande faces a moral dilemma regarding whether to disclose the burdens faced by the common people, ultimately choosing to uphold his principles despite potential consequences [6][7]. - This decision exemplifies the concept of moral courage, where he prioritizes his values over personal gain, marking a significant transformation in his character [7]. Group 5: Overall Psychological Growth - Li Shande's journey illustrates that psychological resilience is cultivated through practical experiences, emphasizing that those who confront challenges rather than evade them can find strength and clarity [8]. - The narrative encapsulates the essence of "practicing in affairs," suggesting that true psychological growth is embedded in the specific tasks and challenges one encounters in life [8].