Core Points - The article discusses the struggles of a mother dealing with her child's education and the pressure from her husband, who has a strict view on academic performance [1][2][4] - It highlights the psychological impact on the child, including anxiety and self-doubt, stemming from the father's harsh criticism [2][4][5] - The article suggests actionable strategies for improving communication within the family and supporting the child's mental health [6][7][8][9][10][11] Group 1: Family Dynamics - The husband's belief in strict academic standards is rooted in his own upbringing as a high-achieving student, leading to a disconnect with the child's unique needs [4] - The mother's attempts to communicate with her husband about the child's emotional well-being often result in conflict, indicating a lack of mutual understanding [1][2][5] Group 2: Child's Psychological Health - The child exhibits signs of anxiety and self-doubt, questioning his intelligence and avoiding schoolwork, which reflects a negative feedback loop from parental criticism [2][4][5] - The article emphasizes the importance of addressing the child's mental health to prevent further deterioration of his academic performance and emotional state [4][5] Group 3: Communication Strategies - The article proposes a "three-stage buffering method" to improve communication with the husband, focusing on emotional isolation, fact reconstruction, and collaborative solution creation [7] - It encourages the establishment of a supportive environment for the child, including positive reinforcement and family activities to build confidence [9][10] Group 4: Self-Care for the Mother - The mother is advised to set aside time for self-care to manage her own stress and maintain her ability to support her family effectively [8] - Building a support network and engaging in self-reflective practices are recommended to enhance her emotional resilience [8][10]

Core Idea - The article discusses the phenomenon of "pretending to work hard," which is characterized by a continuous state of internal struggle without genuine progress [3][4][10]. Group 1: Understanding "Pretending to Work Hard" - "Pretending to work hard" is not laziness but a state of ongoing internal conflict where individuals engage in activities without making real progress [4][10]. - This behavior stems from a fear of ineffectiveness and a psychological concept known as learned helplessness, where repeated failures lead to a loss of confidence in one's ability to change [5][6][7]. - Individuals often fill their time with tasks that seem productive but avoid confronting significant challenges, leading to a cycle of superficial busyness [9][10]. Group 2: Psychological Mechanisms - Many who pretend to work hard experience self-loathing, questioning their worth despite their efforts [12][13]. - The distinction between fixed and growth mindsets plays a crucial role; those with a fixed mindset view their abilities as static, leading to fear of failure and avoidance of genuine effort [14][15][16]. - The fear of facing the reality of one's capabilities often results in a defensive mechanism where individuals avoid full commitment to tasks [17][18]. Group 3: The Impact of Busyness - The article highlights that the pressure to remain busy is often tied to a false sense of self-worth, where being busy equates to being valuable [20][21][22]. - This societal expectation creates a reluctance to pause or rest, as doing so may trigger feelings of inadequacy [23][24][30]. - The need for external validation can lead individuals to prioritize appearances over genuine self-acceptance and personal growth [26][28]. Group 4: Moving Towards Authentic Action - To transition from pretending to work hard to real action, individuals are encouraged to shift their focus from rigid goals to a more flexible sense of direction [34][36][37]. - Establishing a rhythm of low expectations and high action can help individuals build sustainable habits without overwhelming pressure [39][40][44]. - Finding personal sources of energy and joy is essential for fostering genuine motivation and reducing the tendency to pretend [45][47][49]. Group 5: Conclusion - "Pretending to work hard" is not a shameful state but a transitional phase that reflects a search for safer and more effective ways to engage with life [50][51]. - Real effort does not always lead to explosive success; it can manifest in small, consistent actions that contribute to personal well-being [52][53][54].

Core Insights - The article discusses the significant shift in attitudes of parents born in the 1970s towards their children's marriage and childbearing choices, moving from intervention to acceptance and support [1][2][3] Group 1: Changes in Parental Attitudes - The marriage registration numbers in China have dropped to 1.81 million pairs in the first quarter of 2025, a decrease of 15.9% compared to the previous year, indicating a trend of young people choosing not to marry or have children [1] - A survey by the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences reveals that 63% of 70s parents have significantly reduced their interference in their children's lives over the past five years, with this figure rising to 78% in first-tier cities [2] - Economic factors are a primary catalyst for this change, with the cost of raising a child estimated at approximately 538,000 yuan, while the average disposable income for residents in 2024 is projected to be 41,300 yuan [2] Group 2: Psychological Mechanisms Behind the Shift - The transition from a sense of responsibility to respecting children's autonomy reflects a broader societal change, with parents increasingly valuing their children's personal choices over traditional expectations [3] - Many parents have experienced a psychological process of moving from hope to disappointment regarding their children's marriage prospects, leading to a state of "learned helplessness" and a strategic retreat from traditional pressures [3] - As 70s parents approach retirement, they are re-evaluating their life goals, often finding new interests and social activities that divert their focus from their children's marital status [3] Group 3: Transformation of Family Dynamics - The shift from a vertical authority structure to a horizontal partnership model in family relationships is evident, with communication evolving from one-way guidance to two-way negotiation [4] - The boundaries of parental roles are being redefined, with children's marriage choices now seen as personal matters, and parents adopting a supportive rather than a decision-making role [5] - This transformation is particularly pronounced in first-tier cities, where approximately 70% of families practicing "letting go" report higher satisfaction in parent-child relationships compared to traditional models [5] Group 4: Implications of the Shift - The collective "letting go" of 70s parents may reduce family conflicts related to marriage and childbearing, promote equality in intergenerational relationships, and create space for new family models [5][6] - However, some parents may experience feelings of loneliness due to excessive detachment, highlighting the need for new intergenerational support systems [5][6] - This phenomenon represents an adaptive adjustment of Chinese families to societal changes, reflecting both economic pressures and profound shifts in values [6]

Group 1 - The concept of "lying flat" and "muddling through" has become a prevalent workplace philosophy among many individuals in recent years, reflecting a shift in attitudes towards work and life [1][2][6] - The term "lying flat" was recognized as one of the top ten buzzwords in 2021, indicating its widespread acceptance in everyday language [6][15] - The phenomenon of "lying flat" is a response to increasing inequality, class solidification, and mounting work pressures, leading to a sense of confusion and helplessness among the youth [7][15] Group 2 - The perspective on "lying flat" varies significantly between those in positions of authority and those reflecting on personal values, with the former often viewing it as a lack of ambition while the latter see it as a pursuit of self-worth and mental health [7][9][12] - The "three and a half gods" in Shenzhen represent a group of young individuals who have chosen to live a life of minimal work and maximum leisure, reflecting a rejection of traditional employment norms [22][25] - The "quiet quitting" trend in the U.S. signifies a similar movement where workers disengage from the hustle culture, opting to fulfill only their basic job responsibilities [17][28] Group 3 - "Muddling through" is a common practice among workers who cannot fully "lie flat," as they seek to maintain a semblance of autonomy in a demanding work environment [28][30] - The need for "muddling through" arises from the perception of workers as mere cogs in a machine, leading to a desire for self-assertion and breaks from the monotony of work [31][32] - The act of "muddling through" can be seen as a form of resistance against the oppressive work culture that demands constant productivity [43][44]

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the psychological struggle of an individual who experiences fear and anxiety in response to others' malicious behavior, highlighting the impact of past experiences on current reactions [1][2][3]. Group 1: Psychological Insights - The individual has a long history of feeling fear in confrontational situations, stemming from childhood experiences of being falsely accused and criticized [2][3]. - The concept of "emotional buttons" in psychology is introduced, explaining how past traumas can resurface during present conflicts, leading to overwhelming feelings of inadequacy [3]. - The fear of retaliation and abandonment is emphasized, suggesting that this fear often leads individuals to choose silence over confrontation [3][4]. Group 2: Redefining Courage - The article suggests that true courage is not solely about retaliation but involves the ability to choose how to respond to conflict [3][4]. - Different responses to criticism are proposed, such as maintaining boundaries or using humor, which can help protect one's self-esteem while addressing the situation [4]. - The idea of "micro-resistance" is introduced as a practice to gradually build confidence in responding to negativity, akin to strength training [4]. Group 3: Self-Compassion and Growth - The importance of self-compassion is highlighted, encouraging individuals to practice gentle self-talk and recognize their own bravery in facing fears [5]. - The article advocates for accepting imperfection in the growth process, emphasizing that change takes time and requires patience [5].

（原标题：信"心"心理问答｜"我"总感觉什么事都"很麻烦"） 读者来信： 我最近一直被一种情绪困扰着，那就是做什么事都觉得 " 很麻烦 " 。这种感觉让我很痛苦，也很迷茫， 不知道自己到底怎么了。 这种 " 很麻烦 " 的感觉已经持续了一段时间了。不管是工作上的任务，还是生活中的琐事，甚至是一些 我以前还挺感兴趣的活动，现在提起它们，我的第一反应就是 " 好麻烦啊 " 。比如，工作上有个项目需 要我负责，我看到那些需要完成的任务清单，就感到一阵烦躁，心里想 " 这些事怎么这么多，做起来肯 定很麻烦 " 。生活里，像打扫房间这种小事，我看着乱糟糟的屋子，也提不起劲去收拾，觉得 " 反正收 拾起来很麻烦，等会再说吧 " 。 我感觉自己好像对很多事情都失去了热情和动力，变得很消极。以前我遇到困难，还会努力去克服，现 在却只想逃避。这种状态让我很担心，我怕自己会越来越差，陷入一种恶性循环。我也不太愿意和朋友 出去玩了，因为觉得出门准备东西、规划行程这些都很麻烦，所以经常推脱，朋友也觉得我很奇怪。 我不知道这种 " 很麻烦 " 的心理是怎么产生的，是自己太懒惰，还是压力太大，亦或是别的什么原因。 —— 懒散的考拉 一种 ...

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the dynamic balance of stock-bond portfolios, emphasizing its psychological benefits for investors, particularly in maintaining a sense of control during market fluctuations [2][4]. Group 1: Understanding Control in Investment - Control is a crucial psychological concept that refers to an individual's belief in their ability to influence their environment, which is essential for emotional stability and overall well-being [4]. - There are two types of control: primary control, which involves direct actions to change external circumstances, and secondary control, which involves adjusting one's mindset to adapt to reality [5][6]. Group 2: Impact of Stock-Bond Balance on Investor Psychology - Investors often feel helpless during market downturns, especially when fully invested in stocks, leading to irrational decisions like panic selling [7]. - A balanced stock-bond portfolio allows investors to take proactive measures, such as selling bonds to buy stocks at lower prices, thus restoring a sense of control [12]. Group 3: Mechanisms of Stock-Bond Balance - A typical stock-bond portfolio, such as the "60/40" strategy, involves allocating 60% to stocks and 40% to bonds, providing both growth potential and stability [8]. - Dynamic rebalancing is necessary when market fluctuations cause the actual asset allocation to deviate from the target, allowing investors to maintain their desired risk profile [9][10]. Group 4: Psychological Advantages of Stock-Bond Balance - The stock-bond balance strategy provides a structured approach to investing, reducing anxiety by allowing investors to act according to predetermined rules [18]. - The inherent lower volatility of a stock-bond portfolio compared to a 100% stock investment leads to a more comfortable holding experience, which is crucial for long-term investment success [19]. Group 5: Practical Suggestions for Implementing Stock-Bond Balance - Investors should establish clear rebalancing rules, such as specific thresholds for asset allocation deviations, to maintain control over their investment strategy [20]. - Documenting investment plans and rebalancing actions can enhance the sense of control and organization, contributing to long-term investment confidence [21]. - Setting an appropriate stock-bond ratio based on individual risk tolerance is essential for achieving a balanced and sustainable investment approach [22].

Core Viewpoint - The letter expresses a parent's concern about their sixth-grade child's lack of motivation and engagement in learning, highlighting the child's perception that studying is solely for parental approval rather than personal growth [1][2]. Group 1: Child's Learning Attitude - The child exhibits a passive learning attitude, often prioritizing play over homework and requiring constant reminders to complete assignments [1]. - The child believes that studying is a task imposed by parents, indicating a disconnect between the child's understanding of learning and personal responsibility [1][2]. - The parent's attempts to motivate the child through rewards and reasoning have proven ineffective, leading to ongoing frustration [1][2]. Group 2: Psychological Insights - The child's learning motivation is hindered by a lack of intrinsic motivation and a sense of ownership over their education, which is essential for developing a proactive learning attitude [3]. - Psychological research suggests that feelings of belonging, value, and autonomy are crucial for fostering learning motivation [3]. - The child may be experiencing "learned helplessness," feeling that their efforts will not lead to success, which negatively impacts their attitude towards learning [3]. Group 3: Recommendations for Improvement - Shift from criticism to empathy by acknowledging the child's feelings and frustrations, which can foster a supportive environment [4]. - Use descriptive encouragement instead of vague praise to help the child recognize their strengths and progress [4]. - Connect learning to the child's interests and provide opportunities for hands-on activities to make learning more engaging [5]. - Set small, achievable goals and provide immediate feedback to help the child visualize their progress and maintain motivation [5]. - Involve the child in decision-making regarding their learning plans to enhance their sense of responsibility and engagement [5][6]. - Create a balanced environment by incorporating leisure activities to alleviate learning pressure and strengthen parent-child relationships [6]. - Avoid over-intervention and ensure the child has the opportunity to develop independence and problem-solving skills [7]. - Focus on the child's emotional and psychological well-being, addressing any underlying issues that may affect their learning [7]. - Conduct regular discussions about learning goals and interests to foster a sense of agency in the child's education [8].