洞见 （ DJ00123987 ） —— 不一样的观点，不一样的故事， 3000 万人订阅的微信大号。点击标题下 蓝字 " 洞见 " 关注，我们将为您提供有价值、有意思的延伸阅读。 人内在的感受，永远与自身的能量息息相关。 ♬ 点上方播放按钮可收听洞见主播亚楠朗读音频 作者： 洞见·瑾山月 心理学家弗洛伊德把"心理能量"称为"力比多"。 "力比多"是推动正常生活的根本动能。 很多时候，情绪不稳，并非脾气坏，而只是能量不足。 01 你有没有过这种经历： 从早到晚各种忙，累了一天后，一点事就令你心烦意乱； 碰上烂人烂事，很难释怀，总是习惯性地内耗生闷气； 倘若再碰上搞不定的麻烦，就更容易负面情绪爆棚。 如果经常情绪不稳，那你很可能就是大伙常说的那种"身弱之人"。 自身能量不足，没有足够的力量来平衡自己的状态。 身体能量 哥伦比亚作家 玛格丽塔•帕索斯 ，曾患有严重的焦虑症。 经过多年治疗，她终于摆脱了焦虑，过上了正常的生活。 但遗憾的是，正常了没几年，她就又旧病复发，情绪一度失控。 她一会儿担心丈夫出意外，一会儿害怕工作有麻烦，满脑子都是不祥的预感。 她坐立不安，喋喋不休，搞得一家人都关系紧绷，而自己也愈发难过和 ...

01 "看过去"：识别一个人的底色 要识别一个人，你要"看过去"。 为什么要"看过去"？心理学上认为"过去的经历影响着当下的你"。 人生的每一段经历都会变成此刻内心世界的一个组成部分，控制我们对自己遇到的每个人和每件事所做 出的反应。 作为管理者，该如何识人？ 其实要识别一个人，看这3点就够了。通过这3点，可以准确地看到一个人的底色、能力和潜力。 一个人过去的经历，过去遇到的事，会影响他是如何面对问题以及如何处理人际关系的。 所以我们每个人长成今天的样子，是由我们的昨天决定的。 因此，你要识人，就要去了解他的过去，知道他的经历。这么做，你才能真正意义上的理解他，知道他 的底层逻辑是什么。你知道他内心需要什么，你才能选择合适的方式，有效地驱动他。 那么，如何"看过去"？裸心会就是一个很好的工具。 通过裸心会可以了解一个人的前世今生。裸心会既可以一对一，也可以一对多。那么裸心会有哪些步 骤？以群体的裸心会来举例。 1.确定主题。裸心会既能解决团队彼此无法融入的问题，也能解决领导和下属有冲突的问题，更能解决 彼此不了解、不信任的问题。主题不同，聚焦点就不同。你要去了解、认识团队里的每一个人，那么主 题就以此为准。 ...

在上一期文章《如何才能"活出自我"？》中，我们深入探讨了"内在成长"的本质。这期文章，我想聊聊 一个对个人成长和发展有着深远影响的思维模式——成长型思维。 成长型思维是心理学领域最具影响力的概念之一。大量研究表明，它是预测一个人能否获得长期成功的 最可靠指标。 虽然关于成长型思维的讨论已经很多，但大多数人的理解仍停留在二十年前的经典实验阶段，其实践方 法也往往局限于"表扬努力"而非"表扬聪明"等早期结论。 实际上，近十几年来，成长型思维研究取得了显著进展。这些新进展主要体现在神经科学的新发现，以 及它与压力认知之间的紧密关联。 接下来，我将基于这些最新的研究成果，和你一起全面解析成长型思维的本质。我会带你了解它真正的 核心特征，以及具体怎么培养和训练这种思维模式。 如果你是家长，相信这些内容也能帮助你掌握如何通过正确的引导和鼓励，培养孩子的成长心态，为他 们的长期成功打下坚实基础，让他们终身受益。 一、成长思维VS.固定思维 研究人员将小学生随机分为不同组别，让他们完成一系列任务。 首先，所有孩子完成了一套适合年龄的题目，每个人都表现很好。 然后，研究人员给孩子们不同的反馈：对第一组说："你做得很棒，你真聪明 ...

Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the importance of being less concerned about others' opinions and embracing a "don't care" attitude to live a more fulfilling and authentic life [4][12][52]. Group 1: Facing Criticism - The story of writer Zhou Meisen illustrates how perseverance in the face of ridicule can lead to success, as he continued to write despite being mocked by peers [6][8]. - A friend's experience in starting a handmade leather goods studio highlights that prioritizing personal vision over external criticism can lead to greater success [10][11]. - The article quotes Mark Manson, stating that fearing negative evaluations can lead to living a life dictated by others' desires [12][13]. Group 2: Dealing with Encroachment - The narrative of a friend named Xiao Li demonstrates how excessive concern for family opinions can lead to being taken advantage of, as her aunt overstayed in her inherited house [20][22]. - Xiao Li's eventual decision to publicly confront her aunt about the situation illustrates the necessity of setting boundaries and standing up for oneself [31][32]. - The article discusses the "broken window effect," suggesting that allowing others to overstep boundaries can encourage further encroachment [37][39]. Group 3: Embracing Failure - Comedian Li Xueqin's experience of bombing on stage emphasizes that repeated failures can lead to growth and improvement, as she learned to embrace her mistakes [47][48]. - The article argues that viewing failure as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal defeat fosters resilience and a growth mindset [48][50]. - It concludes that a "don't care" attitude towards failure is essential for personal development and emotional well-being [52].

Group 1 - The core idea of the article is to help children transition from a fixed mindset of "I can't" to a growth mindset of "I can try" in order to facilitate their return to school [1][4][13] - Children who refuse to attend school often harbor negative beliefs tied to their past experiences, including self-denial of abilities, catastrophic thinking about their environment, and avoidance due to perfectionism [2][3][4] - The concept of growth mindset, introduced by psychologist Carol Dweck, emphasizes that abilities can be developed through effort and strategies rather than being fixed traits [4][12] Group 2 - The article outlines a four-step training method to cultivate a growth mindset in children, which includes recognizing negative thoughts, using evidence to counter absolute beliefs, breaking down large anxieties into smaller steps, and documenting small achievements [5][6][7][8][10] - Step 1 involves labeling negative thoughts to help children recognize fixed mindset thinking [6] - Step 2 encourages children to find evidence that contradicts their negative beliefs, promoting a more balanced perspective [7] - Step 3 focuses on restructuring large goals into manageable, specific steps to reduce anxiety [8] - Step 4 emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating small efforts rather than just outcomes [10][11] Group 3 - Parents are encouraged to act as "thinking role models" rather than just providing empty encouragement, by sharing their own experiences with growth mindset and allowing children to occasionally regress [12][13]

Group 1 - The article discusses the phenomenon of motivational quotes, often referred to as "chicken soup for the soul," and how they provide emotional comfort without leading to real personal growth [1][4][7] - It highlights the existence of opposing motivational sayings, indicating that for almost every inspirational quote, there is a contrasting perspective that also holds value [2][5] - The underlying psychology of these quotes is explored, emphasizing that they often reinforce existing beliefs rather than challenge them, leading to a form of self-validation [3][6] Group 2 - The article points out that while motivational quotes can offer temporary relief, true growth requires self-awareness, a growth mindset, and actionable steps [7][8][10] - It warns against the dangers of oversimplification and the potential for these quotes to hinder critical thinking, leading to inaction or blind optimism [9] - The importance of learning from setbacks and reflecting on experiences is emphasized as a more valuable approach than relying solely on motivational sayings [10][11]

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the paradox of "happy parenting," where parents prioritize their children's happiness, potentially leading to increased rates of depression among those children. Group 1: Parenting Approaches - Many parents believe that creating a happy environment for their children is ideal, often avoiding strict discipline and focusing on unconditional love and support [1][2] - This approach can deprive children of the opportunity to experience and manage negative emotions, leading to a skewed perception that happiness is the only acceptable emotional state [2][3] Group 2: Psychological Implications - Research indicates that children raised in overly protective environments may struggle with self-acceptance when they encounter negative emotions, leading to self-doubt and potential depression [2][3] - The lack of exposure to challenges and failures can hinder the development of coping mechanisms, making it difficult for children to handle real-life setbacks later on [3][4] Group 3: Strategies for Balanced Parenting - Parents should allow children to naturally experience a range of emotions without rushing to "fix" their unhappiness, fostering emotional expression [4][5] - Encouraging children to face real-world challenges and solve their own problems can help them build resilience and learn from failures [5] - Promoting a growth mindset in children can help them view setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures [5]

Core Viewpoint - Raising boys is a challenging task that requires patience and understanding of their physiological characteristics, along with scientific educational methods to cultivate self-discipline and strength through nine key practices [8][66]. Group 1: Physical Development - Engaging in sports can transform both the body and mind, enhancing physical health and mental focus, as demonstrated by a father who helped his son improve through consistent physical activity [10][12][14]. - Boys are genetically predisposed to be active, and physical movement is essential for their cognitive processes [16]. Group 2: Emotional Resilience - Building resilience through social interactions, such as encouraging boys to engage with strangers, helps them develop a thick skin and the ability to handle rejection [18][20][22]. Group 3: Self-Confidence - Self-confidence can be nurtured through positive reinforcement and experiences, as illustrated by a boy overcoming a speech impediment with his father's support [24][28][30]. Group 4: Broadening Perspectives - Exposure to diverse experiences and cultures can significantly expand a boy's worldview, as seen in a father's initiative to take his son on cultural trips [31][34]. Group 5: Communication Skills - Mastering the art of communication, including both speaking and listening, is crucial for boys to succeed in social and professional environments [37][40]. Group 6: Open-Mindedness - Developing a broad mindset allows boys to gain respect and build friendships, as demonstrated by a boy who graciously accepted defeat in a class election [41][44]. Group 7: Responsibility - Encouraging boys to take on responsibilities at home, school, and in the community fosters a sense of accountability and action-oriented behavior [49][52]. Group 8: Growth Mindset - Instilling a growth mindset helps boys view challenges as opportunities for improvement, as evidenced by a boy who improved his math skills through perseverance [54][56]. Group 9: Emotional Intelligence - Teaching boys to appreciate and express admiration for others enhances their emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationships [61][64].

Group 1 - The core idea emphasizes that the real barrier to action is often not the lack of methods but the insufficiency of inner strength, referred to as "heart power" [1][2] - Heart power is defined as the inner strength exhibited in the face of challenges, including pressure resistance, emotional regulation, self-motivation, and willpower [3] - Individuals with strong heart power can navigate life's challenges effectively, while those with weak heart power struggle to take action despite understanding what needs to be done [4] Group 2 - The article identifies several reasons for insufficient heart power, including unclear goals and lack of motivation, which can lead to aimlessness and decreased drive [5] - Excessive emotional consumption from negative feelings like anxiety and anger can deplete heart power, making it difficult to maintain focus and energy [5][6] - Perfectionism and fear of failure can hinder individuals from taking the first step, creating a cycle of avoidance that further diminishes confidence [6] Group 3 - To enhance heart power, setting small, achievable goals is recommended to build a sense of accomplishment over time [7] - Managing emotions to prevent "emotional drain" is crucial; techniques such as deep breathing and taking breaks can help maintain emotional balance [8] - Developing psychological resilience is essential for recovering from setbacks, viewing failures as opportunities for growth rather than total defeats [9]

Core Idea - The article discusses the phenomenon of "pretending to work hard," which is characterized by a continuous state of internal struggle without genuine progress [3][4][10]. Group 1: Understanding "Pretending to Work Hard" - "Pretending to work hard" is not laziness but a state of ongoing internal conflict where individuals engage in activities without making real progress [4][10]. - This behavior stems from a fear of ineffectiveness and a psychological concept known as learned helplessness, where repeated failures lead to a loss of confidence in one's ability to change [5][6][7]. - Individuals often fill their time with tasks that seem productive but avoid confronting significant challenges, leading to a cycle of superficial busyness [9][10]. Group 2: Psychological Mechanisms - Many who pretend to work hard experience self-loathing, questioning their worth despite their efforts [12][13]. - The distinction between fixed and growth mindsets plays a crucial role; those with a fixed mindset view their abilities as static, leading to fear of failure and avoidance of genuine effort [14][15][16]. - The fear of facing the reality of one's capabilities often results in a defensive mechanism where individuals avoid full commitment to tasks [17][18]. Group 3: The Impact of Busyness - The article highlights that the pressure to remain busy is often tied to a false sense of self-worth, where being busy equates to being valuable [20][21][22]. - This societal expectation creates a reluctance to pause or rest, as doing so may trigger feelings of inadequacy [23][24][30]. - The need for external validation can lead individuals to prioritize appearances over genuine self-acceptance and personal growth [26][28]. Group 4: Moving Towards Authentic Action - To transition from pretending to work hard to real action, individuals are encouraged to shift their focus from rigid goals to a more flexible sense of direction [34][36][37]. - Establishing a rhythm of low expectations and high action can help individuals build sustainable habits without overwhelming pressure [39][40][44]. - Finding personal sources of energy and joy is essential for fostering genuine motivation and reducing the tendency to pretend [45][47][49]. Group 5: Conclusion - "Pretending to work hard" is not a shameful state but a transitional phase that reflects a search for safer and more effective ways to engage with life [50][51]. - Real effort does not always lead to explosive success; it can manifest in small, consistent actions that contribute to personal well-being [52][53][54].