▌程雪玲 前不久，儿子图图放学回家，门一开，整张脸耷拉着，书包往沙发一扔，整个人像霜打的茄子。我问他 怎么了，他立马开启了"连珠炮"模式："今天班委竞选我落选了！就差一票！我准备了那么久的演讲， 台下一片掌声，老师都说好，她薛睿就随便讲了几句，凭什么啊？她成绩还没我好呢！" 我没急着打断，安静地听他一口气把委屈全倒出来。等他终于说累了，见我没接话，他抬头问："妈， 你也不支持我？"我递过一盘切好的水果："说了这么多，先吃块苹果润润嗓子。" 看他情绪平复些，我才开口："儿子，咱们来分析分析，薛睿为什么能当选？她比你多出的那一票'能 力'究竟在哪儿？你先别急着下结论，试着用'全面思考'去观察观察她？"儿子没吭声，但眼神里的不服 气淡了些。他起身放下水果叉，嘟囔了一句："行，我倒要看看她有多大本事能服众。" 那之后，还真有了新发现。 上周五晚上，班里要开线上班会，讨论班歌、班徽和口号，由班长薛睿组织。儿子提前认真完成了三项 设计，八点准时进群。我坐在客厅，听见他在群里积极发言，讲解自己的设计理念，思路清晰，表达也 流畅。不过，我也注意到，儿子时不时会冒出几句抱怨："怎么才25个人在线？一点都不当回事！""有 人肯定 ...

Group 1 - The article discusses five key indicators to determine if a child is suited for academic success, emphasizing that each child has their own learning pace [3][4] - It highlights the importance of focus and concentration in learning, stating that children who can sit still and concentrate tend to have better cognitive abilities [5][7][8] - The article suggests that understanding and comprehension are crucial, with children who can grasp concepts quickly showing stronger logical thinking skills [11][12][16] Group 2 - It points out the significance of perseverance in problem-solving, noting that children who persist in understanding difficult problems develop resilience and confidence [17][19][20] - The article emphasizes self-discipline, indicating that children who can manage their own study schedules at home are more likely to succeed academically [21][23][24] - Finally, it stresses the importance of reflection and learning from mistakes, suggesting that children who analyze their errors can improve their performance over time [25][27][28]

Core Insights - The article emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence, or "heart intelligence," in overcoming life's challenges and achieving success [4][17][24] - It discusses how individuals with high emotional intelligence can maintain composure in difficult situations, while those with low emotional intelligence may succumb to despair [4][20] Summary by Sections Emotional Intelligence - Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to manage psychological stress and maintain a good mental state [4][17] - The article cites examples of individuals who faced significant setbacks but ultimately failed to cope due to their low emotional resilience [8][12][20] Personal Stories - The narrative includes stories of individuals like Raghav, who, despite being a talented student, took his own life after failing an important exam [6][8] - Another example is Robert Howard, a writer whose works were rejected multiple times before gaining posthumous fame, illustrating the tragic consequences of mental collapse [10][12] Strategies to Enhance Emotional Intelligence 1. **Collaborate with the Brain**: Enhancing self-efficacy through small achievements can help individuals build confidence and combat feelings of failure [26] 2. **Cultivate a Growth Mindset**: Adopting a growth mindset allows individuals to view failures as opportunities for learning and development, fostering resilience [27] 3. **Work with the Body**: Engaging in physical activities can strengthen psychological endurance, helping individuals push through difficult times [29] Conclusion - The article concludes that emotional intelligence can be developed and is a crucial competitive advantage in life, encouraging readers to actively work on improving their emotional resilience [29]

Core Insights - The pursuit of longevity is driven by both market demand and personal desire for a healthier life [2][3] - Optimism is linked to a significant increase in lifespan, with studies indicating a potential extension of 11% to 15% for highly optimistic individuals [3][4] Group 1: Longevity and Health - Engaging in 150 to 300 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise weekly is necessary to counteract the mortality risk associated with prolonged sitting [2] - Research shows that running five days a week for 30 to 40 minutes can slow the aging process by approximately nine years [2] Group 2: Optimism and Social Connections - Strong social ties can increase survival rates by 50%, regardless of age, gender, health status, or cause of death [6] - Optimistic individuals are more likely to take action towards their goals, as they perceive the journey as achievable [6][5] Group 3: Psychological Factors - Approximately 25% of a person's tendency towards optimism is genetically determined, while 75% can be shaped through learning and experience [8][9] - Visualization techniques, such as imagining the "perfect self" for five minutes daily, can significantly enhance optimism levels [10] Group 4: Mindset and Growth - Individuals with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through effort, which correlates with both success and longevity [12][13] - Fixed mindset individuals view their traits as unchangeable, which may hinder their potential for growth and longevity [15]

Core Concept - The article discusses the concept of growth mindset, emphasizing its significance in personal development and long-term success [2][59]. Group 1: Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset - The research by Carol Dweck revealed that children praised for their intelligence tend to avoid challenges, while those praised for their effort are more willing to take on difficult tasks [13][19]. - Dweck's studies indicate that fixed mindset individuals view intelligence as innate and unchangeable, while growth mindset individuals believe that intelligence can be developed through effort [20][21]. - The differences in mindset lead to contrasting behaviors when facing challenges, with growth mindset individuals showing resilience and a focus on learning [26][27]. Group 2: Neuroscientific Insights - A study led by Jason Moser utilized EEG technology to observe brain activity differences between fixed and growth mindset individuals when processing errors [22][24]. - Fixed mindset individuals exhibit heightened emotional responses to mistakes, while growth mindset individuals focus on analyzing and learning from errors [25][26]. - This research provides a neuroscientific basis for understanding and cultivating a growth mindset [27]. Group 3: The Role of Stress - The article highlights the importance of how individuals perceive stress, linking it to a broader mindset that influences behavior in challenging situations [34][36]. - Positive stress perception can enhance performance and encourage individuals to embrace challenges, as supported by research from Alia Crum [38][42]. - The integration of positive stress mindset and growth mindset can significantly improve learning outcomes and psychological resilience [44]. Group 4: Practical Strategies for Cultivating Growth Mindset - The article suggests four practical strategies: praising effort and process rather than intelligence, shifting from self-judgment to analytical learning after mistakes, seeking help from others as a learning resource, and viewing stress as an opportunity for growth [48][56]. - These strategies aim to reinforce the belief that abilities can be developed through effective methods and sustained effort [50][59]. - Continuous practice of these strategies can reshape neural pathways, fostering a resilient and adaptive mindset for lifelong learning [60].

Group 1 - The core idea of the article is to help children transition from a fixed mindset of "I can't" to a growth mindset of "I can try" in order to facilitate their return to school [1][4][13] - Children who refuse to attend school often harbor negative beliefs tied to their past experiences, including self-denial of abilities, catastrophic thinking about their environment, and avoidance due to perfectionism [2][3][4] - The concept of growth mindset, introduced by psychologist Carol Dweck, emphasizes that abilities can be developed through effort and strategies rather than being fixed traits [4][12] Group 2 - The article outlines a four-step training method to cultivate a growth mindset in children, which includes recognizing negative thoughts, using evidence to counter absolute beliefs, breaking down large anxieties into smaller steps, and documenting small achievements [5][6][7][8][10] - Step 1 involves labeling negative thoughts to help children recognize fixed mindset thinking [6] - Step 2 encourages children to find evidence that contradicts their negative beliefs, promoting a more balanced perspective [7] - Step 3 focuses on restructuring large goals into manageable, specific steps to reduce anxiety [8] - Step 4 emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating small efforts rather than just outcomes [10][11] Group 3 - Parents are encouraged to act as "thinking role models" rather than just providing empty encouragement, by sharing their own experiences with growth mindset and allowing children to occasionally regress [12][13]

Core Idea - The article discusses the phenomenon of "pretending to work hard," which is characterized by a continuous state of internal struggle without genuine progress [3][4][10]. Group 1: Understanding "Pretending to Work Hard" - "Pretending to work hard" is not laziness but a state of ongoing internal conflict where individuals engage in activities without making real progress [4][10]. - This behavior stems from a fear of ineffectiveness and a psychological concept known as learned helplessness, where repeated failures lead to a loss of confidence in one's ability to change [5][6][7]. - Individuals often fill their time with tasks that seem productive but avoid confronting significant challenges, leading to a cycle of superficial busyness [9][10]. Group 2: Psychological Mechanisms - Many who pretend to work hard experience self-loathing, questioning their worth despite their efforts [12][13]. - The distinction between fixed and growth mindsets plays a crucial role; those with a fixed mindset view their abilities as static, leading to fear of failure and avoidance of genuine effort [14][15][16]. - The fear of facing the reality of one's capabilities often results in a defensive mechanism where individuals avoid full commitment to tasks [17][18]. Group 3: The Impact of Busyness - The article highlights that the pressure to remain busy is often tied to a false sense of self-worth, where being busy equates to being valuable [20][21][22]. - This societal expectation creates a reluctance to pause or rest, as doing so may trigger feelings of inadequacy [23][24][30]. - The need for external validation can lead individuals to prioritize appearances over genuine self-acceptance and personal growth [26][28]. Group 4: Moving Towards Authentic Action - To transition from pretending to work hard to real action, individuals are encouraged to shift their focus from rigid goals to a more flexible sense of direction [34][36][37]. - Establishing a rhythm of low expectations and high action can help individuals build sustainable habits without overwhelming pressure [39][40][44]. - Finding personal sources of energy and joy is essential for fostering genuine motivation and reducing the tendency to pretend [45][47][49]. Group 5: Conclusion - "Pretending to work hard" is not a shameful state but a transitional phase that reflects a search for safer and more effective ways to engage with life [50][51]. - Real effort does not always lead to explosive success; it can manifest in small, consistent actions that contribute to personal well-being [52][53][54].