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信“心”心理问答|高二家长的困惑:孩子一边焦虑成绩,一边熬夜搞社团,我该插手吗
Jing Ji Guan Cha Bao· 2025-06-13 01:15
Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the challenges faced by a mother of a high school sophomore who is struggling to balance academic pressures with personal interests, highlighting the importance of effective communication and understanding during this developmental stage [1][2][3]. Group 1: Parental Concerns - The mother expresses worry about her daughter's academic performance and the impact of extracurricular activities on her studies [1][2]. - The daughter feels anxious about her progress compared to peers, yet resists reducing her involvement in hobbies like drama and guitar [1][2]. Group 2: Adolescent Development - The daughter is at a critical transitional phase from adolescence to adulthood, where academic pressure and personal interests often conflict [3]. - The article emphasizes that the daughter's behavior is a normal part of her development, reflecting a struggle between self-identity and external expectations [3]. Group 3: Learning Efficiency - Many students in this age group experience similar feelings of inefficiency in their studies, often due to poor time management and environmental distractions [4]. - The article suggests that the daughter may benefit from analyzing her study habits and identifying specific distractions that hinder her focus [4]. Group 4: Importance of Interests - The article introduces the concept of "self-determination theory," indicating that engaging in chosen activities can enhance motivation and resilience in academic tasks [5][6]. - A case study of another student illustrates that forcing a withdrawal from interests can lead to decreased academic performance and strained family relationships [6]. Group 5: Balancing Interests and Academics - The article proposes a collaborative approach to create a balanced schedule that accommodates both academic responsibilities and personal interests [6][7]. - It emphasizes the need for parents to shift from a directive role to a supportive one, fostering open dialogue and shared decision-making with their children [7][8]. Group 6: Emotional Support - The article highlights the importance of emotional support from parents, suggesting that small gestures of understanding can significantly impact a child's well-being [8]. - It concludes that the goal of parenting is not to create a "perfect child," but to support a "real person" in finding their own growth rhythm [8].
心理学|考前家长“五不说五不说”:用语言的力量为孩子种上“心理疫苗”
Jing Ji Guan Cha Bao· 2025-05-24 01:27
Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the significant impact of parental language on children's emotions, particularly during exam periods, and suggests that parents should adopt supportive communication strategies to help alleviate children's anxiety [1][4]. Group 1: Parental Language Impact - The phrase "Have you studied well?" can trigger anxiety in children due to the implicit expectation of perfection, leading to "uncompleted anxiety" [2]. - Saying "Don't be nervous!" may backfire, as it can reinforce anxiety through the "white bear effect," where suppressing thoughts makes them more prominent [2][3]. - Statements like "You just focus on the exam!" can create hidden pressure, implying that academic performance equates to family value, which may induce guilt in children [3]. Group 2: Alternative Expressions - Instead of asking "Have you studied well?", parents can say "I see your efforts, and I believe you have done your best," which promotes confidence and focus [5]. - Rather than saying "Don't be nervous!", parents should express "Feeling nervous is normal; would you like to try deep breathing?" to validate emotions and provide coping strategies [6]. - Instead of "It's okay!", parents can offer "If you feel tired, we can take a walk and talk," which provides emotional support through action rather than empty reassurances [6]. Group 3: Emotional Support Strategies - Parents should manage their own anxiety to avoid transferring stress to children, creating a calm environment for them [6][7]. - Encouraging autonomy by allowing children to study at their own pace can enhance their efficiency and sense of respect [7]. - Acknowledging specific improvements, such as "Your problem-solving speed has improved," rather than vague encouragement, helps children feel recognized for their growth [7].