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我是北大教授,也是一位辍学孩子的妈妈
虎嗅APP· 2025-07-24 13:43
Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the journey of a mother, Zhao Dongmei, who navigates the challenges of raising a child who dropped out of school, emphasizing acceptance and understanding rather than traditional academic success [2][40]. Group 1: Background and Initial Challenges - Zhao Dongmei's son dropped out of school at the age of 14, leaving him with only a middle school education [3][22]. - The mother reflects on her darkest moments during her son's withdrawal from school, highlighting feelings of despair and helplessness [4][7]. Group 2: Strategies for Engagement - To reconnect with her son, the mother engaged him in hands-on activities like home improvement projects, which helped ease their communication and emotional tension [9][10]. - After some time, they established a routine of studying together to catch up on missed schoolwork, which initially proved challenging [10][11]. Group 3: Reflection on Education and Perception - The mother questions why her son, despite having many strengths, was labeled as a poor student in school, reflecting on the educational system's shortcomings [12][14]. - She acknowledges her own academic background as a potential barrier to understanding her son's struggles, realizing that her expectations may have contributed to his difficulties [17][18]. Group 4: Alternative Educational Paths - After her son officially dropped out, they explored alternative educational environments, leading him to a vocational preparatory school where he thrived [24][25]. - The mother observed significant growth in her son during this period, as he began to take on leadership roles and engage in meaningful discussions [25][26]. Group 5: Personal Growth and Future Considerations - The mother reflects on her son's experiences in the U.S. education system, where he faced new challenges but also demonstrated resilience and adaptability [30][34]. - Ultimately, the mother comes to terms with the idea that traditional schooling may not be necessary for her son's success, allowing him to choose his own path while emphasizing the importance of continuous learning [35][36][37].
心理学|“快乐教育”的父母为何养出抑郁的孩子
Jing Ji Guan Cha Bao· 2025-07-14 23:53
Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the paradox of "happy parenting," where parents prioritize their children's happiness, potentially leading to increased rates of depression among those children. Group 1: Parenting Approaches - Many parents believe that creating a happy environment for their children is ideal, often avoiding strict discipline and focusing on unconditional love and support [1][2] - This approach can deprive children of the opportunity to experience and manage negative emotions, leading to a skewed perception that happiness is the only acceptable emotional state [2][3] Group 2: Psychological Implications - Research indicates that children raised in overly protective environments may struggle with self-acceptance when they encounter negative emotions, leading to self-doubt and potential depression [2][3] - The lack of exposure to challenges and failures can hinder the development of coping mechanisms, making it difficult for children to handle real-life setbacks later on [3][4] Group 3: Strategies for Balanced Parenting - Parents should allow children to naturally experience a range of emotions without rushing to "fix" their unhappiness, fostering emotional expression [4][5] - Encouraging children to face real-world challenges and solve their own problems can help them build resilience and learn from failures [5] - Promoting a growth mindset in children can help them view setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures [5]
信“心”心理问答|被升学焦虑困住的妈妈,如何打破"剧场效应"的魔咒?
Jing Ji Guan Cha Bao· 2025-04-27 09:42
(原标题:信"心"心理问答|被升学焦虑困住的妈妈,如何打破"剧场效应"的魔咒?) 听说某重点高中每年有 3% 学生保送清北,我四处托关系打听招生政策。当看到同龄人都在准备 AMC 数 学竞赛时,我咬牙交了 3 万培训费 —— 可孩子做题时眼神里的迷茫,让我整夜失眠。昨天孩子数学月考 退步 5 名,我失控地冲他吼 " 你再这样下去只能去职高 " ,事后又后悔得偷偷抹泪。 我常常问自己:为什么越努力越焦虑?就像《小舍得》里演的那样,当所有人都在抢跑时,停下就意味 着落后。我明明知道孩子需要休息,但听到邻居说 " 他们班 70% 学生都在上冲刺班 " ,就忍不住继续加 码。 更让我困惑的是,当孩子花 2 小时解出一道压轴题时,我欢呼雀跃;可当他用同样时间观察蚂蚁搬家 时,我却觉得在浪费生命。到底要培养 " 做题家 " 还是 " 完整的人 " ? 我曾尝试 " 快乐教育 " ,减少补习班后孩子数学成绩下滑,被老师约谈;引入时间管理表,孩子却用 2 小 时完成作业后沉迷游戏补偿;咨询过教育专家,建议 " 发现孩子兴趣 " ,但孩子自称 " 对什么都没兴趣 " 。 读者来信: 我是一名初中生的母亲,最近被自己的升学焦虑折 ...