洞见 （ DJ00123987 ） —— 不一样的观点，不一样的故事， 3000 万人订阅的微信大号。点击标题下 蓝字 " 洞见 " 关注，我们将为您提供有价值、有意思的延伸阅读。 作者： 洞见·瑾山月 爱若没有宽广到能容纳他人的绽放，便只能蜷缩在狭窄的自我世界里。 ♬ 点上方播放按钮可收听洞见主播安东尼朗 读音频 作家李中莹，把身边人分为两类。 一类人，你跟他分享喜悦，他比你更高兴；你获得成功，他以你为荣。 但另一类人，但凡你显露一点幸福，他们心里就不是滋味。 要么打压讽刺，要么暗生嫉妒，更有甚者会背后使坏。 李中莹说："这种人不仅消耗你的能量，还会把你的感情、生命力、身体的种种机能一点点耗 尽。" 遇到这种人，远离就相当于保命。 《北京文学》上刊发过一篇讽刺小说。 故事中，杭思嘉和小青是铁杆闺蜜，却过着天差地别的生活。 杭思嘉是医学博士，丈夫是高校老师，两口子在深圳住着一百多平的房子。 而小青工作没几年就下了岗，丈夫也没有稳定收入。 此话一出，小青这才意识到，杭思嘉完全没有为自己感到高兴。 所谓的好闺蜜并不真心实意盼着自己好，这些年的亲密不过是建立在"自己很惨"的基础上。 所以这些年来，杭思嘉一想到小青就 ...

（原标题：孩子爱说这4句话，说明他骨子里很自卑，父母别不在意） 周末，带孩子在公园玩，看到这样一幕。 几个孩子在玩飞盘，轮到一个七八岁的小男孩时，他屡次后退，扭头对她妈妈说："我不行，我扔不准 的。" "我不行" 有位妈妈说： "试试嘛，没关系！" 妈妈鼓励道。 男孩手指绞着衣角："他们扔得都比我好，算了，我看你们玩就好。" 我注意到，就一会功夫，男孩说的最多的就是"我不行""我做不好"类的话。 很多家长觉得，孩子随口而出的这类话没什么，但其实这背后可能是自卑的信号。 那些脱口而出的负面话语，不起眼的口头禅，往往藏着他们对自我的否定、对世界的胆怯。 如果孩子经常说这4句话，说明他骨子里很自卑，家长一定要及时干预。 01 自己的女儿6岁，不管做什么都爱说"我不行"。 幼儿园组织唱歌比赛，老师选了她，她却哭着拒绝："我不行，我唱得不好听。" 妈妈带她在家练习，明明唱得不错，可她还是不自信："别人都比我唱得好，我肯定会输。" 其实，孩子说"我不行"，往往不是能力问题，而是过往的挫折体验和不当反馈，让他形成了对失败的恐 惧预期。 从心理学角度看，这和 "自我效能感" 有关。 自我效能感是孩子对自己能否做好一件事的判断 ...

Group 1 - The article discusses the inherent selfishness in human nature, emphasizing that individuals prioritize their own interests above all else [5][7][14] - It highlights the painful experiences of individuals who have been betrayed by those they trusted, illustrating that genuine relationships may not always be reciprocated [9][12][26] - The narrative includes examples of individuals who initially exhibit kindness and humility but are often taken advantage of, leading to a realization about the nature of human interactions [16][19][20] Group 2 - The article explores the concept of jealousy, noting that people often feel threatened by the success of their peers, leading to negative behaviors [23][25][27] - It presents a case study of a character who faces hostility from colleagues due to his achievements, underscoring the competitive nature of workplace dynamics [24][26] - The text suggests that understanding and accepting the complexities of human nature can alleviate unnecessary emotional turmoil [27][32] Group 3 - The article addresses the fickleness of human emotions, illustrating how relationships can change rapidly and unexpectedly [29][30][32] - It references literary examples to convey the disappointment that arises from idealizing relationships, ultimately advocating for a more realistic view of human connections [30][31][34] - The conclusion emphasizes the importance of recognizing human flaws and not allowing them to lead to personal distress, promoting a more pragmatic approach to life [36][34][36]

Core Insights - Entrepreneurs displaying certain personal flaws can elicit different responses from investors, impacting investment decisions positively or negatively [1][2] - The study suggests that deficiencies related to low agency, such as insecurity and disorganization, are more likely to attract investors compared to overconfidence and arrogance [1][5] - The traditional view of "playing to strengths" is being challenged, with a growing emphasis on authenticity and acknowledging weaknesses in professional settings [1][12] Group 1: Nature of Personal Flaws - Personal flaws can be categorized into two types: overabundance of agency (e.g., arrogance, control issues) and insufficient agency (e.g., insecurity, lack of organization) [3][4] - Entrepreneurs may intentionally reveal perceived negative traits to appear trustworthy, while others may use self-deprecation as a form of self-promotion [3][4] Group 2: Investor Perception and Decision-Making - Investors often interpret negative signals from entrepreneurs as a double-edged sword; a past failure attributed to bad luck may not deter investment [2][5] - Overconfident entrepreneurs may create a psychological barrier, making it difficult to establish a connection with investors, while those who show vulnerability can foster closer relationships [5][12] Group 3: Research Findings - Research conducted on crowdfunding platforms like Kickstarter revealed that entrepreneurs who disclosed personal flaws related to insufficient agency received more funding than those who did not exhibit such flaws [8][10] - Studies involving participants from Reddit showed that similarity in personal flaws between investors and entrepreneurs positively influenced investment amounts [9][10] Group 4: Implications for Entrepreneurs - Entrepreneurs should strategically choose when and how to present their flaws, particularly to investors who may resonate with their vulnerabilities [12][13] - The findings indicate that revealing a lack of confidence or organization can enhance the likelihood of receiving investment from empathetic investors, while showcasing arrogance can deter potential backers [12][13]

Group 1 - The core viewpoint emphasizes the balance between empirical research and theoretical construction in Chinese economic sociology, showcasing significant development characteristics [2][3][4] - Researchers have explored traditional fields such as property rights, enterprises, and labor, while also venturing into emerging areas like platform economy and financial markets [3][4] - The importance of local social culture and the collaborative mechanisms of government, market, and society in explaining China's economic growth is highlighted [4][5] Group 2 - Theoretical frameworks such as "nested markets" and "dual structure" have been proposed to understand the dynamics between small farmers and urban consumers, as well as the influence of material supply and cultural customs on consumption behavior [5][6] - The exploration of the underlying logic of China's economic development is increasingly focused on the interplay between state, family, and social relationships [6][7] - Future efforts should aim at building a more systematic and cumulative theoretical framework, addressing the fragmentation and lack of foundational concepts in current research [7][8]

Core Idea - The article discusses the "Hawthorne Effect," a psychological phenomenon where individuals modify their behavior when they know they are being observed, leading to improved performance and motivation [2][4][6]. Group 1: Understanding the Hawthorne Effect - The Hawthorne Effect originated from experiments conducted in the 1920s at a factory in Hawthorne, Chicago, where changes in lighting led to a 15% increase in productivity due to workers feeling observed [3][4]. - The effect highlights that awareness of being watched can enhance individual performance as it aligns with the expectations of observers [4][6]. - The phenomenon is linked to social comparison theory, where individuals adjust their behavior to meet perceived expectations from others [6][7]. Group 2: Practical Applications of the Hawthorne Effect - To leverage the Hawthorne Effect, it is essential to increase proactive attention towards individuals, making them feel valued and observed, which can lead to positive behavioral changes [8][9]. - Providing positive feedback and encouragement is crucial, as it serves as a powerful motivator for individuals to improve and excel [10][11]. - Creating a positive environment is vital, as it fosters a culture of improvement and encourages individuals to adopt better habits through social influence [13][14].

Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the importance of focusing on one's own life and happiness rather than comparing oneself to others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and jealousy [10][24][90]. Summary by Sections Section 1: Relative Deprivation - The concept of "relative deprivation" is introduced, explaining how individuals often feel envious when they see others succeed, leading to negative emotions [7][8]. - The article suggests that most suffering comes from internal comparisons rather than external circumstances [9][10]. Section 2: Personal Stories and Comparisons - The narrative of two friends, Chen Kaixi and Roman, illustrates how comparing life paths can lead to jealousy and damage relationships [11][17]. - Roman's journey highlights the realization that personal fulfillment should not be measured against others [19][20]. Section 3: The Impact of Envy - A case study of a colleague's housing situation demonstrates how envy can lead to negative emotions and deteriorating work relationships [25][30]. - The article cites that envy can lead to a downward spiral of dissatisfaction and self-doubt [31][32]. Section 4: Social Comparison Theory - The article references Leon Festinger's "social comparison theory," which explains how individuals often evaluate themselves based on others, leading to feelings of inadequacy [36][37]. - It argues that comparing oneself to others can obscure one's own value and identity [38][42]. Section 5: Finding Personal Value - The narrative of Yu Minhong illustrates the importance of recognizing one's unique path and not succumbing to societal pressures [46][55]. - The article emphasizes that true fulfillment comes from understanding and pursuing one's own goals rather than competing with others [58][60]. Section 6: The Role of Gratitude - Research from the Zuckerberg Neuroscience Center indicates that gratitude can enhance happiness and a sense of belonging [71]. - The article concludes that happiness is not about achieving everything but appreciating what one has [86][89].