Relationship Dynamics - Addresses "battery anxiety" in intimate relationships, manifested as constant checking or demanding attention [1] - Identifies three key "energy drains" behind this anxiety [1] - Proposes building a personal "self-sufficient charging station" through self-exploration, internalizing self-worth, and transforming fear [1] - Advocates for self-reliance and inner peace to achieve relaxed radiance in love and life [1] Brand & Speaker Information - Features Jackie, the founder and product director of the "相生之宠" brand [1] - The talk was given at a TEDx event [1]

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the rising popularity of engagement ceremonies among young people in China, contrasting with the declining marriage rates. Engagements are seen as a buffer against the complexities and uncertainties of marriage, serving both romantic and practical purposes [4][5][54]. Group 1: Engagement Trends - Engagement ceremonies have become increasingly popular in the past two years, with wedding planners noting a surge in inquiries despite a general reluctance to marry [7][8]. - Many young couples prefer new Chinese styles for their engagement ceremonies, often customizing themes based on their favorite movies or games [9][11]. - A survey indicated that 48.8% of young people prefer a simple wedding style, yet the rise of elaborate engagement ceremonies contradicts this trend [12]. Group 2: Engagement Ceremony Details - The engagement process is described as a condensed version of a wedding, focusing on key elements like presenting gifts, signing contracts, dining, and photography [14]. - Engagement costs can be significant, with one example showing expenses around 100,000 yuan for a simple ceremony, while basic planning can still require 12,000 to 20,000 yuan [16][18]. - A detailed breakdown of engagement expenses reveals that costs can vary widely, with some couples spending over 134,640 yuan on various elements [20]. Group 3: Psychological and Social Implications - Engagements serve as a psychological transition for couples, allowing them to adapt to the idea of marriage without the immediate pressures of wedding planning [45][53]. - The engagement ceremony acts as a social test, revealing compatibility between families and the couple under stress, which can lead to insights about their relationships [48][59]. - Many young couples express anxiety about marriage, with some delaying wedding plans even after being engaged for over a year, reflecting a cautious approach to formal commitments [54][59]. Group 4: Cultural Context - The article highlights a cultural shift where engagement ceremonies are becoming a significant social event, akin to a party rather than a solemn occasion [41][42]. - The contrast between the elaborate nature of engagement ceremonies and the reluctance to marry reflects broader societal anxieties about relationships and commitments [58][60]. - Young people are increasingly viewing marriage as a complex issue intertwined with financial and emotional considerations, leading to a preference for engagements as a less binding alternative [60][62].

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the rising trend of divorce coaching in the United States, highlighting its growing popularity as a cost-effective alternative to traditional divorce services, particularly in the context of increasing divorce rates and economic pressures [4][44][42]. Group 1: Divorce Coaching Industry - Divorce coaching is becoming a crowded field within the divorce economy, with coaches providing various services from pre-divorce counseling to post-divorce emotional support [9][12]. - Coaches like Rene Garcia have gained significant popularity, offering comprehensive services that include legal advice, mental health support, and lifestyle coaching, often at a fraction of the cost of traditional lawyers [20][23][24]. - The average hourly rate for divorce coaches is around $125, significantly lower than the average $270 charged by divorce lawyers, making it an attractive option for clients [36][42]. Group 2: Market Dynamics - The demand for divorce coaching is directly linked to economic conditions, as many individuals seek more affordable options amidst rising divorce costs, which can average around $7,000 in the U.S. [39][42]. - In 2023, nearly 700,000 divorce cases were reported in the U.S., with a divorce rate for first marriages remaining between 40% and 50% [44]. - The trend is not limited to the U.S.; similar patterns are observed globally, including a decrease in marriage registrations and a slight increase in divorce registrations in China [45]. Group 3: Societal Trends - The article notes a cultural shift where divorce is increasingly viewed as a positive choice, with social media platforms showcasing narratives that celebrate post-divorce freedom [47][49]. - There is a growing sentiment that divorce signifies self-love and empowerment, particularly among women, reflecting broader societal changes in attitudes towards marriage and relationships [49][73]. - The complexities of modern relationships are leading to a rise in short-term relationships and a reluctance to commit, further influencing the demand for divorce coaching services [92][95].

Group 1 - The article discusses the rising popularity of divorce coaches in the United States, highlighting their role in the divorce economy as a cost-effective alternative to traditional legal services [3][30][25] - Divorce coaches provide a range of services, including emotional support, legal advice, and personal development, often at a fraction of the cost of hiring a lawyer [14][15][25] - The average hourly rate for divorce coaches is around $125, significantly lower than the average $270 charged by lawyers, making them an attractive option for those seeking to minimize divorce costs [25][30][29] Group 2 - The demand for divorce coaches is driven by the increasing number of divorces in the U.S., with nearly 700,000 cases annually, and a divorce rate for first marriages between 40% and 50% [32][29] - The article notes a global trend of rising divorce rates, with similar patterns observed in countries like China, where marriage registrations have decreased while divorce registrations have increased [32][29] - The societal perception of divorce is shifting, with many viewing it as an act of self-love rather than a failure, contributing to the growing acceptance and demand for divorce coaching services [35][40][52] Group 3 - The article emphasizes that becoming a divorce coach is relatively easy, with training programs allowing individuals to qualify in as little as 48 hours, leading to a proliferation of coaches in the market [24][23] - The industry is characterized by a wide variety of coaching styles and specializations, including those based on personal beliefs and experiences, catering to diverse client needs [10][20] - The increasing complexity of divorce laws and the emotional toll of the process have made divorce coaches a valuable resource for individuals navigating these challenges [42][44][43]

Core Viewpoint - The discussion around "guiding partners" reflects deeper issues of emotional needs, relationship dynamics, and the complexities of modern intimacy, highlighting the need for effective communication and understanding in relationships [5][20][28]. Group 1: Characteristics of "Guiding Partners" - "Guiding partners" are often idealized as saviors or criticized as manipulative, indicating a polarized perception in relationships [2][15]. - The desire for guidance can lead to individuals being labeled as dependent or immature, showcasing societal expectations around emotional roles [3][4]. - The concept of "guiding partners" is intertwined with narratives of redemption, where individuals seek validation and support from others [17][19]. Group 2: Emotional Dynamics and Attachment Styles - Individuals described as "twisted" often experience internal conflict, self-repression, and difficulty in expressing their needs, leading to a cycle of emotional turmoil [6][7]. - The distinction between "avoidant attachment" and "avoidant personality" is crucial, as both impact emotional regulation and relationship dynamics differently [9][14]. - Avoidant individuals tend to suppress emotional responses and maintain distance, which can complicate intimate relationships [13][14]. Group 3: Communication and Relationship Health - Effective communication is emphasized as a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships, with a focus on understanding and mutual respect [20][27]. - The rise of "guiding partner manuals" reflects a societal need for structured communication strategies, yet they can be perceived as overly simplistic or patronizing [18][24]. - The essence of nurturing relationships lies in mutual growth and energy exchange, rather than dependency or emotional drain [21][30].

一、相爱等于"相融"吗？ 本文来自微信公众号：简单心理 （ID：jdxl2000），作者：王婧（华东师范大学应用心理硕士），头图 来自：AI生成 常有人说"有条件的爱就不是真爱"，但或许不是这样。 爱的"条件"在关系中，有时候仅仅意味着人际关系的"边界"。两个相爱的人走近彼此时，发生接触的不 仅仅是爱意，也有彼此的成长烙印。这些烙印让每个人发展出独特的认知、情感和行为模式。这些都没 有什么对错，只是不可避免地会存在差异。 并不是如果我不接受你的某个部分，我就不够爱你；而是这些"条件"帮助我明白你的边界，尊重你有自 己的选择。或许我并不赞同，但我也不会因此贬低你，指责你。我能够明白，我们之间的不同是源于差 异，而不是好坏。 跨越彼此的"条件"走向"越来越爱"的，不会是委曲求全、妥协、退让和相互质问到底够不够爱。 在热恋时期，人们常常期待一种"你中有我，我中有你"的融合性体验。期待自己的所有都能够被伴侣接 受、认同；期待彼此的思想和感受可以高度同频。 精神分析学家温尼科特，将婴儿0-6个月的发展阶段命名为"绝对依赖期"，在这个阶段，比较健康的家 庭会给予婴儿绝对的关注，尽可能满足婴儿的所有需求。 对成年人来说，也 ...

Core Viewpoint - The book "Can We Still Be Family?" by two Japanese women from "non-traditional families" explores themes of family, intimate relationships, love, marriage, and female growth through their candid dialogues [1][3]. Group 1: Authors and Background - The book features conversations between actress and writer Yayako Uchida and neuroscientist Nobuko Nakano, who share their unique and challenging family backgrounds [1][3]. - Yayako Uchida, daughter of the late actress Kiki Kirin, grew up in a celebrity family marked by her parents' separation before her birth and her father's tumultuous lifestyle [1][4]. - Nobuko Nakano experienced a cold and communicative relationship with her parents, leading to her early independence [1][3]. Group 2: Themes of Relationships - The dialogues reflect on their experiences with family and marriage, revealing the complexities of their relationships and the impact of their upbringing [3][4]. - Uchida married at 19 and had three children, but faced significant differences with her husband, while Nakano's marriage involved a "weekend couple" and child-free lifestyle [3][4]. - The book emphasizes the importance of communication in relationships, contrasting it with the silence that can lead to deeper issues [11]. Group 3: Insights on Parenting and Family Dynamics - The authors discuss the challenges of parenting, highlighting the potential for becoming "toxic parents" due to immaturity and lack of preparation [10][12]. - Nakano notes that the separation between parents and children is a painful yet necessary part of growth, while Uchida reflects on the void left by her parents' passing [9][10]. - The book predicts that by 2024, half of the Japanese population may choose not to marry, reflecting changing societal norms around family and relationships [10][13]. Group 4: Cultural Reflections - The book has resonated with readers in Japan, who find common ground in the authors' experiences, suggesting that non-traditional family backgrounds do not preclude a fulfilling life [13]. - The discussions also touch on societal expectations and the evolving nature of marriage, with younger generations approaching relationships with caution [12][13].