洞见 （ DJ00123987 ） —— 不一样的观点，不一样的故事， 3000 万人订阅的微信大号。点击标题下蓝字 " 洞见 " 关注，我们将为您提供有价值、有意思的 延伸阅读。 作者：枳为橙 来源：读书369 （ID: dushu369com） 你的心有多稳，生活就有多自在。 ♬ 点上方播放按钮可收听洞见主播佳音朗 读音频 杨澜曾在一次访谈中，请教生物学博士尹烨： "有人说，得了癌症的人，一半是病死的，一半是吓死的，真是这样吗？" 尹烨回答道："情绪就是可以改变基因的，冥想能改变基因表达。 纯粹靠想，靠'正念'，就能把你自己变成一个药厂。" 到了一定年纪，经历的事多了，就会发现：心态的强弱，时刻影响着你的人生走向，也在一定程度上决定了你的生命和生活质量。 心强则身强，心宽路也宽，心乱多是非，心垮事事塌。 所以，强心，便是关键时刻，实实在在能拯救你的生存智慧。 人生中大多数灾难，都是心态打了败仗。 余华说过： "很多人觉得自己好像已经走投无路了，其实你可能是情绪进入了死胡同，而不是你的人生进入了死胡同。" 太多人总是以为，生命中那么多过不去的坎儿，都是老天的捉弄，却忽略了：那些压垮身体的重病，摧毁生活的困局 ...

（原标题：心理学有个词叫：课题分离（一个帮你解决90%烦恼的顶级思维）） 心理学家阿德勒曾说过，人的一切烦恼都源于人际关系。 你有同感吗？ 在心理咨询案例中，有很多焦虑、愧疚、愤怒等情绪困扰都是来自人际关系的痛苦，比如父母关系、婆 媳矛盾、夫妻问题、同事冲突等。 如果你也常被这类问题困扰，或许该了解一下阿德勒心理学的「课题分离」理论 —— 这个被称为 "人 际关系手术刀" 的思维工具，能帮你减少90%的精神内耗。 一、课题分离：区分【你的事】和【我的事】 课题分离，简单来说就是要明确区分哪些是自己的课题，哪些是他人的课题，各自对自己的课题负责， 不随意干涉他人课题，也不让他人干涉自己的课题。 人痛苦的本质是：你在为别人的课题负责，同时也让别人为你的课题买单。 朋友小王，经常为父母吵架而苦恼，每次听母亲诉苦后，她的心情也会一整天很烦闷。其实就是她把父 母关系当成了自己课题。 如何区分哪些是自己的课题，哪些是别人的课题？ 阿德勒曾说："事情的结果由谁承担，就是谁的课题。" 这是判断课题归属的简单逻辑。 朋友小王，学会课题分离思考后，把父母吵架的事情看做是父母的人生课题，自己无法左右父母的课 题，父母应该为自己的婚 ...

狮子从不在意绵羊的看法。 ♬ 点上方播放按钮可收听洞见主播楚翘 朗读音频 有朋友跟我吐槽说，他们单位里同事间勾心斗角，宫斗戏都没有那么精彩。每天光是处理复杂 的人际关系，就已经身心俱疲。 我听了很是理解，一个单位就是一处江湖，利益争端在所难免。 洞见 （ DJ00123987 ） —— 不一样的观点，不一样的故事， 3000 万人订阅的微信大号。点击标题下 蓝字 " 洞见 " 关注，我们将为您提供有价值、有意思的延伸阅读。 我想说的是，职场毕竟是做事的地方，不是做人的地方。 过度在意同事的评价和领导的态度只会消耗自己。 一个人工作不内耗的秘诀只有一个： 眼里有事，心中无人。 作者：洞见muye 作家李筱懿年轻的时候在一家公司担任秘书。 初入职场的她，因为业务不熟练，时常遭到同事们嘲笑。 李筱懿却毫不在乎，她每天只全神贯注做好自己的事。 一个月的时间，她将各种秘书书籍读了个遍，随后将这些知识熟练地运用到工作中。 当同事们发现她越来越成熟，越来越能干时，背后的议论自然也就消失了。 俞敏洪在演讲中说过这样一段话： "不要太关注你周围人的声音，一辈子最重要的是你必须不断提高自己，让自己每年都变得更 加值钱，这才是你要 ...

洞见 （ DJ00123987 ） —— 不一样的观点，不一样的故事， 3000 万人订阅的微信大号。点击标题下 蓝字 " 洞见 " 关注，我们将为您提供有价值、有意思的延伸阅读。 作者： 不有趣灵魂 来源： 至书 （ID: Gosoul421） 我们热爱这个世界时，才真正活在这个世界上。 ♬ 点上方播放按钮可收听洞见主播亚楠 朗读音频 我们终其一生，都在努力摆脱外界的期待，成为真实的自己。 可是，又有多少人有这样的勇气，敢去摆脱外界的期待，从世俗里款款地走出来？ 我种了一株蔷薇，给它搭了一个架子，刚开始的时候，我每天走在架子下面，都要看看，它有 没有沿着架子爬，如果哪里偏离了，我就拉回去，用个绳子固定起来。 我为什么一定要让它爬上架子呢？因为我觉得那样更好看，蔷薇开的时候，我可以在架子下喝 茶看书。 想想就很好。 我希望这蔷薇可以按照我的期待去成长，每次路过，都得扒拉它一下。 蔷薇于我，是如此，我于世界，亦是如此。 这个世界，也时时刻刻用它的期待规训着我，希望我沿着它期待的那样去生长，去变化。 每当我有一点偏离，这个世界就会用它强悍的力量，试图将我拉回去，然后告诉我，活得过于 特立独行，会被这个世界吐出来的 ...

Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the importance of respecting others' life paths and refraining from intervening in their issues, as doing so can lead to unintended consequences and burdens on oneself [5][6][14]. Group 1: Personal Experiences and Lessons - An anonymous user shared a regretful experience of trying to help a friend find a job, which ultimately led to complications and blame directed at him [7][11]. - The article illustrates that well-intentioned interventions can backfire, as seen in the case of a student who ignored advice to improve his skills until it was too late [22][24]. - The narrative highlights that personal experiences and struggles are often the best teachers, and one cannot truly understand another's journey without going through it themselves [19][26]. Group 2: The Concept of "Separation of Issues" - The article discusses the idea of "separation of issues," suggesting that individuals should focus on their own lives and refrain from meddling in others' affairs [26][40]. - It cites a conversation between two friends with differing life views, illustrating how mutual respect and understanding can lead to a harmonious relationship without interference [38][42]. - The text concludes that maintaining boundaries and a degree of emotional detachment can lead to a more peaceful existence, allowing individuals to focus on their own paths [43][45].

Core Points - The concept of "original company trauma" describes the emotional struggles faced by employees due to negative experiences in their first job or early career, which can have long-lasting psychological effects [1][2][3] - Many young professionals experience recurring trauma from their initial workplace, which manifests in various ways, such as anxiety triggered by familiar sounds or situations [6][9][12] - The trauma often stems from systemic issues within the workplace, where employees feel pressured to conform and suppress their emotions, leading to a cycle of self-blame and fear [20][32][36] Group 1 - "Original company trauma" refers to the significant negative experiences in early career stages that leave lasting psychological impacts [2][3] - Employees often internalize their experiences, leading to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety that persist even after leaving the company [11][12][19] - The pressure to conform and the fear of authority can create a toxic work environment, making it difficult for employees to voice their concerns or leave [20][32][36] Group 2 - The experiences of individuals like Wang Ke, Tina, and Xia Mi illustrate the pervasive nature of workplace trauma, highlighting how it can affect mental health and job performance [6][9][12] - The emotional scars from early career experiences can lead to physical symptoms and a long-lasting impact on self-esteem and workplace relationships [14][30][34] - The societal and structural factors contributing to these traumas include high competition for jobs, lack of clear career paths, and the normalization of unhealthy workplace dynamics [37][43][44] Group 3 - Healing from workplace trauma requires both individual efforts and systemic changes within organizations to create healthier work environments [39][42][43] - Establishing transparent evaluation mechanisms and improving labor laws can help mitigate the effects of workplace trauma and support employee well-being [43][44] - A supportive workplace culture that respects individual dignity and promotes growth can serve as a healing environment for those affected by original company trauma [41][44]

Core Insights - The article emphasizes the importance of not responding to malicious comments, suggesting that silence is a more effective psychological defense than retaliation [1][6][7] Group 1: Reasons for Responding to Malice - Individuals often feel compelled to respond to malice as a form of self-protection, activating a "fight or flight" response when hurt [2][3] - The desire for fairness drives many to believe that not responding equates to accepting blame, leading to internalized feelings of inadequacy [2][3] - Responding to malice can consume significant psychological energy, akin to fighting in a quagmire where the more one struggles, the deeper one sinks [3] Group 2: Consequences of Responding to Malice - Engaging with malice can trap individuals in a "self-justification trap," where they inadvertently play by the aggressor's rules [3] - Responses to malice can amplify its spread due to the "negative bias" theory, where negative information is more memorable and impactful [3] Group 3: Strategies for Dealing with Malice - Distinguishing between "facts" and "opinions" is crucial, as malice often stems from personal emotions rather than objective truths [4] - Practicing "not engaging" is a form of psychological boundary-setting, allowing individuals to maintain emotional control [4][5] - Techniques such as "psychological detachment" can help individuals pause and reassess the situation before reacting [4] Group 4: Long-term Benefits of Not Responding - Not responding to malice can lead to greater emotional stability, reducing susceptibility to anger and fostering a peaceful mindset [6] - Relationships may become more relaxed as individuals stop feeling the need to prove themselves, leading to mutual respect [6] - Each instance of not responding strengthens psychological resilience, making individuals less vulnerable to future harm [6]

Group 1 - The article discusses the increasing popularity of psychological concepts in public discourse, highlighting the potential for misinterpretation and misunderstanding of these concepts [1] - It aims to clarify three commonly misunderstood psychological concepts to provide a clearer understanding [1] Group 2 - The first concept is "separation of tasks," originating from Adler's psychology, which emphasizes that individuals should focus on their own responsibilities and not take on others' issues [2][4] - The article notes that this concept is particularly relevant for individuals who tend to overextend themselves, such as perfectionists, highly sensitive individuals, and those with low self-esteem [4][5] - It stresses the importance of recognizing one's own "circle of control" and accepting what cannot be controlled, which can alleviate internal conflict and emotional distress [5][6] Group 3 - The second concept is "living in the moment," which encourages individuals to focus on the present rather than being preoccupied with past regrets or future worries [9][10] - The article clarifies that living in the moment does not mean neglecting long-term planning but rather being fully engaged in the current task at hand [10][12] - It suggests that practicing mindfulness and focusing on sensory experiences can enhance one's ability to live in the moment [13] Group 4 - The third concept is "self-acceptance," which is fundamental in positive psychology and involves reconciling the gap between one's ideal self and real self [14][15] - The article addresses common misconceptions about self-acceptance, emphasizing that it does not mean ignoring one's flaws but rather adjusting expectations to align with reality [15][16] - It concludes that true self-acceptance fosters motivation for personal growth and achievement, as it allows individuals to recognize their worth and capabilities [19][20]

Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the importance of focusing on personal growth and work performance rather than being overly concerned with colleagues' opinions and workplace politics [6][14][72]. Group 1: Personal Growth and Focus - The narrative illustrates that individuals should prioritize their own development and skills over the opinions of others, as seen in the experiences of various professionals [14][22]. - The concept of "课题分离" (separating tasks) is introduced, suggesting that one should focus on their own responsibilities rather than external judgments [40][45]. - The article highlights that true value in work comes from personal contributions and continuous improvement, rather than social dynamics [28][30]. Group 2: Workplace Dynamics - The text discusses the common challenges of workplace relationships, indicating that many individuals experience stress from interpersonal conflicts [4][5]. - It suggests that the workplace should be viewed primarily as a place for labor and compensation, rather than a social arena [53][67]. - The article concludes that maintaining a focus on work quality rather than interpersonal relationships leads to a more fulfilling work experience [70][73].