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明明什么都没做,为什么我会这么累?
Hu Xiu· 2025-08-23 10:23
觉得一天什么也没做,身心却感觉很累,即使休息也无法得到帮助,这是每个人都可能体会过的感觉。 明明知道应该做某事了,头脑很明白,身体却躺倒就是无法行动,一直在拖延。思虑过度,内心处于几 种力量的撕扯之中。 如果此时你停下来,关注下内心,你常常会发现内心充斥着很多自我否定、自我评判、自我谴责的声 音,这样的做法无异于"给自己的伤口撒盐"。这就是精神内耗带给一个人的感觉。 为什么会产生"精神内耗"? 封闭模式常常与内在创伤被激活有关,是出于一种自我保护的正常反应,个人会退缩回自我的小世界, 回避现实,使用一种无所不能的信念作为主要的自我保护防御,用来对抗内在的脆弱和无力。 为了维持一种安全感,为了保护自己,个人会与外界无意识地断开联结,将自己与他人保持距离或隔绝 开来;或者把这些感受投射到外部,认为是他人或环境造成了自己的痛苦,将自己当做受害者,来控诉 他人,而不是改变自我。 在封闭模式下,负面的感受,如敌意、痛苦和攻击,无法得到消化和理解,都在人的内部循环,让一个 人的心灵无法产生变化或成长。 一个人应对现实的能量会被撤回,用于维护脆弱的自尊和全能感,也因此让一个人维持现实关系的能 力,处理现实事务的能力被削弱或 ...
走到哪里算哪里
Hu Xiu· 2025-08-12 03:01
美东时间8月12日,是我作为美国社区大学全职学生上课的第一天。 收拾书包时,一年前的画面清晰浮现。那时,我计划从2024年7月中旬开始,在北卡UNC新闻学院做访问学者,一年后申请延期——J1签证最长可达5年。 但计划赶不上变化。那条原本看似顺理成章的路,因为各种外部因素突然转弯。今夏,我没有继续做访问学者,而是转成学签,走进了大学,成为一个有 些茫然的大龄学生。 说实话,当年离开家乡,坐一夜绿皮火车去兰州上大学时,我也没这么紧张,毕竟,毕业后这26年的散漫自由、追求"无用"之学、人到中年性格乖张,很 难重新走进青年时听话乖巧、老实听课、应付考试的"泡泡"之中。 题图:路边的无花果一天天成熟了,果实低垂,正待膨胀。 今天听丹青老师的《文学回忆录》第二季《离题而谈》开篇,他说了一句话:"我喜欢这种状态。什么状态呢?走到哪里是哪里,完全不知道下一集讲些 什么,甚至下一句讲些什么,我喜欢这种状态。" 这句话治愈了那一分那一秒的我——这是一种人到中(老)年的年轻心态啊! 我正慢跑,穿过一片空旷的树林。一条不宽的沥青路向左蜿蜒而去,路中间平整,两边微微塌陷,形成自然的弧形,又像是两侧树木的光影造成的错觉。 脚步声、呼吸声 ...
两种方法,从中年危机到找回中年之美
吴晓波频道· 2025-07-10 17:28
Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the transition from a midlife crisis to a state of "midlife beauty," emphasizing the importance of self-care and mindfulness practices to alleviate stress and regain composure during middle age [5][4]. Summary by Sections Self-Care and Midlife Beauty - Middle-aged individuals experience increased responsibilities and stress, yet they also possess a level of stability and richness in life that can be termed "midlife beauty" [2][4]. - The process of moving from a midlife crisis to midlife beauty involves self-care practices [5]. Mindfulness and Writing Techniques - The article introduces two practical methods for reducing midlife stress: "Heart Writing" and "Mindfulness" [5][24]. - Heart Writing consists of three practices: free writing, thematic writing, and guided writing [6]. Heart Writing Practices - Free writing encourages continuous writing without concern for grammar or coherence, allowing emotions to be expressed visibly on paper [8][9]. - Thematic writing focuses on specific topics, such as relationships or personal experiences, and includes writing letters to oneself or others to foster self-awareness and healing [11][12][13]. - Guided writing uses prompts to help individuals recall memories and feelings, enhancing self-reflection [14][15]. Value of Writing - Writing serves as a tool for developing a third-person perspective, allowing individuals to observe their emotions and relationships more objectively [17][21]. - This practice can significantly improve interpersonal relationships by fostering understanding and reducing emotional turmoil [21]. Mindfulness Techniques - Mindfulness, as explained by Thich Nhat Hanh, involves being aware of the present moment and can be practiced through breathing exercises and body scans [26][30]. - Breathing techniques help individuals detach from overwhelming emotions and return to a state of calm [30][32]. - Mirror exercises encourage self-acceptance and gratitude, promoting a positive self-image [33]. Recommended Reading - The article concludes with a list of recommended books that address themes of midlife crisis and self-care, including "The Middle-Aged Road" and "Necessary Losses" [35].
自我田野|从城市搬到农村生活,我找回了真实和附近
Xin Lang Cai Jing· 2025-05-04 06:27
Group 1 - The article discusses the concept of "suspension" in modern life, where individuals are disconnected from their present reality due to the fast-paced nature of work and technology [1][5][15] - It highlights the experience of individuals who, despite being on a journey, feel an overwhelming urge to keep moving rather than enjoying the moment, indicating a state of suspension [2][4] - The narrative emphasizes the importance of returning attention to the present and engaging with the immediate environment, rather than being consumed by digital distractions [5][17] Group 2 - The article presents a personal account of moving to a rural area, where the author found a way to combat the feeling of suspension by reconnecting with the local community and nature [4][10][11] - It describes the benefits of establishing a routine that limits screen time, allowing for deeper engagement with life and surroundings, which enhances overall satisfaction [6][12] - The text suggests that cultivating a sense of presence and mindfulness in daily activities can help individuals reclaim their ability to live authentically and meaningfully [17][18]