如果再勇敢一点，人生会不会不一样？后来，高圆圆反复叩问自己。曾经有一段时间，她停留在自己的舒适区，只拍了一些难度不大的爱情戏。 最近，高圆圆拍摄于2017年的电影《风林火山》上映，她在影片中饰演一个心理医生，阴郁，狠辣，野心勃勃——与现实中的高圆圆完全相反。那年她38 岁，开始尝试更有挑战性的角色。 如今迈入46岁，高圆圆的身边多了一位不断成长的女儿，她的日常生活被家庭和工作填满。她从亲密关系得到了很多滋养，但她也渴望工作，"每次工作 都有一种出来做人的感觉"。 作为演员，高圆圆认为自己过去靠的是本能，她想重新学表演，到另一条路上去看看。 高圆圆在《风林火山》中饰演刘思欣。（图/《风林火山》） 本文来自微信公众号：新周刊 （ID：new-weekly），作者：张远山，编辑：朱人奉，题图来自：视觉中国 十几年前，31岁的高圆圆在香港拍《单身男女》，第一次真正过上短暂的独居生活。可除了剧组与住处附近的菜市场，她几乎不知道去什么地方。高圆圆 觉得，她那时对世界的渴望和好奇，被怯懦掩盖了。 那是一张成为了最高级形容词的脸，大眼睛，鼻梁高挺，被很多人视为"国民初恋"。 和想象中一样，当我们在中国电影博物馆见到高圆圆时， ...

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the pressures and coping mechanisms of middle-aged individuals, particularly focusing on the challenges faced by middle-aged men and women in balancing work, family, and personal time [5][21][23]. Group 1: Middle-aged Men's Coping Mechanisms - Middle-aged men often find solace in hobbies such as fishing, gaming, and cycling as a way to relieve stress from work and family responsibilities [7][10]. - Social activities like playing cards are viewed as low-cost and healthy forms of relaxation for middle-aged men [10]. - The article highlights the contrast between men's and women's coping strategies, with men leaning towards hobbies and women seeking brief escapes from their responsibilities [10][14]. Group 2: Middle-aged Women's Challenges - Middle-aged women face significant pressure from multiple roles, including parenting and household responsibilities, leading to feelings of exhaustion and frustration [19][21]. - The article notes that women often feel the need to justify their desire for personal time, frequently using work-related excuses to carve out moments for themselves [25][26]. - A survey indicates that women experience a higher loss of leisure time due to childcare compared to men, particularly in families with multiple children [23][29]. Group 3: Stress Sources and Indices - The article provides a stress index for various sources of pressure, with childcare and household chores being the most significant contributors to stress for middle-aged women [19][20]. - Economic burdens, such as mortgages and loans, also contribute to the overall stress levels experienced by middle-aged individuals [21][19]. - Emotional support and respect are highlighted as critical yet often lacking elements in the lives of middle-aged women, exacerbating their feelings of isolation and stress [19][21].

Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and proactive measures for middle-aged individuals facing career challenges, suggesting that preparation and adaptability are key to overcoming midlife crises and achieving personal and professional growth [4][36]. Group 1: Career Stability and Skills - Relying on job security from large companies can be misleading, as layoffs often target employees over 35, highlighting the need for individuals to develop their own skills and create a personal safety net [5][14]. - The concept of the "thumb rule" suggests that individuals must become indispensable in their roles to ensure job security, emphasizing the importance of continuous skill development [5][14]. Group 2: Health and Well-being - Prioritizing health is crucial, as neglecting physical well-being for work can lead to severe consequences, with health being identified as a key factor in wealth accumulation [8][10]. - The article advocates for a balanced approach to work and health, encouraging individuals to avoid overexertion and prioritize their physical condition [8][10]. Group 3: Financial Preparedness - Establishing a financial safety net is essential, with the suggestion to save a portion of income as a "F*** You Fund" to provide security in case of unexpected job loss [14][16]. - Individuals are encouraged to manage their finances wisely, avoiding unnecessary expenditures to ensure they have sufficient savings to weather potential financial storms [14][16]. Group 4: Diversification of Income - The article recommends creating multiple income streams, likening it to a rabbit having several burrows for safety, which can provide additional security against job loss [10][11]. - The "531 rule" is proposed for managing time and energy between primary jobs and side ventures, promoting a balanced approach to income generation [10][11]. Group 5: Networking and Value Creation - The importance of being useful rather than just friendly in professional relationships is highlighted, as workplace dynamics often prioritize performance over personal connections [16][19]. - The article suggests that individuals should focus on enhancing their skills and contributions rather than engaging in superficial networking [16][19]. Group 6: Adapting to Change - Middle-aged individuals are encouraged to embrace change and continuously update their skills to remain relevant in the workforce, countering the notion that age is a barrier to success [34][36]. - The narrative stresses that a proactive mindset and willingness to learn can lead to new opportunities and career advancements [34][36].

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the concept of "quarter-life crisis," particularly how Generation Z is experiencing heightened levels of despair compared to older generations, challenging the traditional notion of mid-life crisis [2][3][4]. Group 1: Psychological Health of Young Workers - Research indicates that the mental health of young workers, especially those aged 12-25, has significantly declined, with young women being particularly affected [3][4]. - The study highlights a direct correlation between young people's despair and labor market dynamics, suggesting that young workers are facing unprecedented challenges [4][5]. - The traditional "hump-shaped" curve of despair, which peaks in middle age, has shifted, showing that despair levels are now decreasing with age, particularly among those under 40 [6][7]. Group 2: Economic and Social Factors - The increase in despair among young workers is attributed to various socio-economic factors, including job instability, reduced worker autonomy, and rising living costs [9][10]. - The research suggests that the crisis began shortly after the Great Recession, around 2012-2014, and is exacerbated by the rise of the gig economy [9][10]. - Data shows that approximately 289 million young people globally are neither gaining work experience nor enhancing their skills through education or training, limiting their economic prospects [10]. Group 3: Global Implications - The findings have garnered international attention, with the United Nations engaging in discussions about the global crisis facing young workers [18][19]. - The article emphasizes that the despair among young workers is not merely a psychological issue but also an economic emergency, necessitating urgent attention from policymakers [18][19]. - The research indicates a shift in despair from middle-aged individuals to younger generations, marking a significant change in societal trends [18].

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the plight of middle-aged employees in large tech companies, highlighting their feelings of stagnation and the challenges they face in a rapidly changing industry landscape [2][4][12]. Group 1: Characteristics of Middle-aged Employees - Middle-aged employees in large tech firms often find themselves in a position where they are unable to advance, remaining in basic roles despite years of service [2][4]. - Many of these employees entered the industry during the peak of the internet boom and have seen their skills become less relevant as the industry evolves [8][9]. - The work environment has led to a culture of "waiting to be laid off," where employees feel trapped and lack motivation, leading to a sense of resignation [5][12]. Group 2: Challenges and Internal Dynamics - The pressure of family responsibilities and financial commitments makes it difficult for these employees to seek new opportunities outside their current roles [4][11]. - The phenomenon of "internal competition" or "involution" has created a toxic work environment, where employees focus on superficial tasks to appear productive rather than engaging in meaningful work [18][19]. - Many employees express a desire to leave but feel compelled to stay due to the lack of better job prospects and the fear of uncertainty [15][20]. Group 3: Historical Context and Comparisons - The current situation mirrors past experiences of employees in foreign enterprises, where middle-aged workers also faced similar challenges as they aged in their roles [13][14]. - Unlike previous generations, today's middle-aged employees in tech companies lack the same industry advantages and opportunities for growth, making their situation more precarious [14][28]. Group 4: Coping Mechanisms and Future Outlook - Employees have adopted a mindset of "waiting" for layoffs as a strategy to secure severance packages, reflecting a shift in their approach to job security [20][25]. - The article suggests that this waiting game may ultimately lead to a longer-term risk, as companies increasingly adopt strategies for cost-cutting and optimization that could leave employees in a vulnerable position [24][25]. - Despite the challenges, some employees are beginning to embrace a more proactive attitude, seeking to reclaim their agency and express their true feelings about their work environment [30][31].

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the challenges faced by middle-aged individuals, particularly focusing on their coping mechanisms and the pressures of work and family life, highlighting the need for personal space and self-care amidst their busy lives [5][19][20]. Group 1: Middle-aged Men's Coping Mechanisms - Middle-aged men often turn to hobbies such as fishing and gaming as a way to relieve stress, despite the pressures of work and family responsibilities [7][10]. - The article notes that many men engage in activities like smoking and drinking, while some choose healthier options like fitness and photography to cope with their anxiety [10][11]. Group 2: Middle-aged Women's Coping Mechanisms - Middle-aged women seek brief escapes from their daily responsibilities, often finding solace in activities like singing at KTV or relaxing in hotels, which provide a much-needed break from family duties [14][15]. - The article highlights that many women struggle with feelings of guilt when attempting to carve out personal time, often using work-related excuses to justify their need for solitude [22][23]. Group 3: The Burden of Family Responsibilities - The article emphasizes the overwhelming responsibilities that middle-aged parents face, particularly mothers, who often juggle work and extensive household duties, leading to a lack of personal time [18][19]. - Statistics indicate that mothers lose significantly more leisure time to childcare compared to fathers, exacerbating feelings of being overwhelmed [19][20]. Group 4: The Value of Alone Time - The article posits that alone time has become a luxury for middle-aged individuals, especially mothers, who often feel guilty for seeking personal space [20][22]. - Despite the challenges, brief moments of solitude are portrayed as essential for mental well-being, allowing individuals to recharge and face their daily lives with renewed energy [26].

Core Insights - The article discusses the concept of "midlife crisis," suggesting it is more of an awakening than a crisis, where individuals reassess their values and life choices during middle age [4][5][8] - It highlights the psychological transition that occurs in midlife, where individuals begin to question their past achievements and seek deeper meaning in life [4][14] Group 1: Understanding Midlife Crisis - The term "midlife crisis" often evokes feelings of anxiety and chaos, but it is framed as a "midlife transition," which can lead to personal awakening [4][5] - Psychological studies indicate that individuals often experience a dip in happiness around the age of 46, referred to as the "U-shaped curve" of life satisfaction [2][4] - Many people react to the realization of unhappiness by making drastic changes, such as quitting jobs or ending relationships, but these actions may not address the underlying issues [2][4] Group 2: The Nature of Awakening - Midlife awakening is characterized by a shift from external achievements to internal reflection, prompting individuals to consider who they are beyond their job titles [5][7] - The article emphasizes the importance of transitioning from "fluid intelligence," which declines with age, to "crystallized intelligence," which encompasses accumulated knowledge and experience [8][10][12] - This transition allows individuals to redefine success and focus on legacy and mentorship rather than mere professional accomplishments [12][14] Group 3: Psychological Frameworks - Erikson's developmental stages highlight that midlife is a time for individuals to create value for others and society, contrasting with stagnation [14][15] - The article suggests that successful navigation of midlife challenges can lead to a sense of care and connection to family and community [14][15] - The metaphor of a tree is used to symbolize growth, stability, and the desire to leave a meaningful legacy, reflecting the shift in priorities during midlife [16][18][19]

Core Viewpoint - The article discusses the phenomenon of middle-aged men increasingly turning to gyms as a means to cope with midlife crises, emphasizing the psychological and social aspects of this trend. Group 1: Motivations for Gym Attendance - Middle-aged men are divided into two camps: aerobic enthusiasts who run for mental peace and anaerobic lifters who lift weights to combat aging [1][2] - The gym serves as a sanctuary for these men, allowing them to escape reality while pretending to be proactive [4][10] - Many men enter gyms primarily out of fear of health issues, realizing that maintaining health is crucial as they age [7][9] Group 2: Social Dynamics in Gyms - Gyms have transformed from being youth-centric spaces to becoming hubs for middle-aged men, who now dominate the equipment areas [11][21] - The gym is likened to a confessional space where men can share their experiences and frustrations without judgment [12][30] - Conversations in gyms often revolve around personal life rather than work, creating a safe space for camaraderie [29][30] Group 3: Psychological Aspects - The gym acts as a form of therapy for middle-aged men, allowing them to express emotions and frustrations through physical exertion [31][34] - Regular gym attendance is seen as a sign of stability and control in life, indicating that one has the time and resources to maintain a fitness routine [36][37] - The act of working out is not just about physical health but also about maintaining dignity and self-worth as they age [17][39]

Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the importance of managing energy and focusing on meaningful pursuits as one ages, particularly after 40, to lead a fulfilling life [9][10][11]. Group 1: Energy Management - After 40, individuals experience a decline in energy levels, necessitating a more selective focus on how to allocate their energy [4][10]. - The concept of "selective focus" is introduced, suggesting that one should invest energy in activities that truly nourish and enrich their life [11]. - The article references management expert Peter Drucker, who stated that managing energy equates to managing one's life [9]. Group 2: Social Interactions - High-profile individuals like actress Gao Yuanyuan express that a significant portion of social interactions can be draining, leading to a preference for solitude [13][14]. - The article discusses the futility of superficial socializing, highlighting that true value comes from meaningful connections rather than frequent social engagements [20][25]. - It cites examples of individuals like actor Chen Daoming and artist Jiang Xun, who found fulfillment by retreating from social circles to focus on personal growth and creativity [21][28][30]. Group 3: Pursuit of Meaning - The distinction between career aspirations and material desires is made, suggesting that true fulfillment comes from meaningful work rather than the pursuit of wealth [38][44]. - The story of painter Paul Gauguin illustrates the shift from a lucrative but unfulfilling career to a passionate pursuit of art, leading to personal and professional success [52][55]. - The article stresses that after achieving external goals, individuals may feel a sense of emptiness, prompting a reevaluation of what truly nourishes the soul [58][60]. Group 4: Emotional Focus - The article highlights the importance of focusing on tasks rather than emotions, suggesting that successful individuals concentrate on solutions rather than dwelling on setbacks [72][76]. - It discusses the psychological concept of "libido" as a finite resource that can be depleted by negative emotions, emphasizing the need to manage emotional energy effectively [90][92]. - The narrative encourages individuals to maintain a goal-oriented mindset to navigate challenges and avoid being bogged down by emotional turmoil [93][94]. Group 5: Health and Well-being - The article warns against the dangers of overworking, particularly in middle age, and emphasizes the need for a balanced approach to work and health [95][100]. - It provides practical health tips for middle-aged individuals, such as ensuring adequate sleep, regular exercise, and healthy eating habits [107][110]. - The overarching message is that prioritizing health is crucial for sustaining one's ability to work and enjoy life, especially as one ages [113][116].

Core Viewpoint - The discussion revolves around the concept of "midlife crisis," emphasizing that it often stems from an individual's acceptance of limitations rather than external circumstances. The founders of the "Get" app encourage a mindset shift to view midlife as an opportunity for growth and reinvention rather than a decline [3][4][69]. Group 1: Understanding Age and Time - Many individuals perceive age as a barrier, believing that opportunities diminish as they grow older. However, the founders argue that this perception is flawed, suggesting that with advancements in medicine and technology, people can live longer and healthier lives, thus extending their opportunities for growth [8][9][10]. - The founders propose that reaching milestones like 50 years old should not be seen as a point of no return but rather as the beginning of a new phase, allowing for continued learning and exploration [11][12]. Group 2: Letting Go of the Past - One of the key suggestions is to stop using past experiences as excuses for current limitations. The founders emphasize the importance of not allowing past failures or circumstances to define one's present and future [12][16][17]. - The narrative encourages individuals to take responsibility for their lives and to actively seek change rather than resigning to their past [18][19]. Group 3: Viewing Obstacles as Opportunities - The founders introduce the idea that obstacles can be reframed as opportunities. They suggest that challenges should be viewed as potential gateways to new possibilities rather than insurmountable barriers [19][20]. - Examples from their entrepreneurial journey illustrate how changing perspectives on challenges can lead to innovative solutions and stronger team cohesion [20][22]. Group 4: Networking and Collaboration - Engaging with others and seeking conversations is highlighted as a crucial strategy for innovation. The founders share personal anecdotes about how discussions with others have led to significant breakthroughs in their business model [26][28][30]. - They advocate for actively seeking out diverse interactions to spark new ideas and perspectives [30][31]. Group 5: Staying Grounded in Reality - The concept of "staying in touch with the front lines" is discussed, where the founders stress the importance of maintaining a connection with the operational aspects of their business to avoid becoming disconnected from reality [33][38]. - They emphasize that understanding the challenges faced by frontline workers is essential for effective leadership and innovation [39]. Group 6: Long-term Planning - The founders propose creating a "life curriculum" that outlines goals and aspirations for the next 50 years, encouraging individuals to take a proactive approach to their future [40][41][46]. - This long-term planning is intended to shift the mindset from reactive to proactive, allowing for clearer pathways to achieve personal and professional goals [46][53]. Group 7: Prioritizing Health and Relationships - Health and relationships are positioned as foundational elements of success. The founders stress that maintaining good health and nurturing relationships should be prioritized as they are critical for long-term achievement [56][59]. - They share personal commitments to health and family, illustrating how these priorities can enhance overall well-being and productivity [56][60]. Group 8: Finding Meaning and Purpose - The discussion culminates in the idea of "inventing a unique self," where individuals are encouraged to view their careers and lives as ongoing projects that can be shaped and refined over time [66][69]. - The founders suggest that the pursuit of personal meaning and purpose is essential for fulfillment, encouraging individuals to continuously evolve and redefine their identities [66][69].