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关系再亲近,也不要跟孩子说这5件事,真的很傻
Jing Ji Guan Cha Bao· 2026-01-03 02:02
(原标题:关系再亲近,也不要跟孩子说这5件事,真的很傻) 作为父母,你和孩子关系再亲近,这些话也不要跟孩子说。 一、不过度说自己的怨气 有一些父母,总是习惯性跟自己的孩子抱怨,抱怨生活,抱怨各种不如意。 孩子认知系统尚未发育成熟,他们容易将父母的负面情绪归咎于自己,产生"是不是我做错了什么"的心 理,甚至长期背负不必要的心理负担,会带给孩子太多的压力。 另外,孩子在家庭中,往往会模仿父母应对问题的方式,他们通过观察父母如何管理情绪来学习自我调 节。 如果父母习惯将怨气向孩子宣泄,孩子可能模仿这种模式,未来也难以用健康方式处理冲突或压力。 所以,有压力,有负面情绪,一定要找成年人倾诉,另一方面则是要自己去想解决方案,而不是把不良 情绪传递给孩子,让孩子承担。 二、不说自己做出的牺牲 另外,父母不要过度说自己做出的牺牲,自己的付出。 很多人经常把这些话挂在嘴边: "你看我多苦,我这么做都是为了你啊。" "你是我的一切,只要你快乐,我就快乐。" 当孩子不能让自己满意,就会情绪激动地告诉他:"我为了你,放弃了多少。" 但这么做,其实是一种愧疚诱导,孩子一旦被愧疚感包围,他就会牺牲自我,甚至会自我惩罚,即便是 他什么也 ...
以恨为名的爱 终在裂缝处生花
Xin Lang Cai Jing· 2025-12-26 21:02
电影的艺术成就,尤其体现在其对"和解"的留白处理上。结局没有滥情的拥抱与忏悔,只有晨曦中母女 二人的沉默并行。镜头最终定格于一双泥泞布鞋与一双洁净球鞋的并置,这暗示了两条终将分岔、又彼 此守望的人生道路。这种"未完成"的结局,赋予了影片更悠长的余韵。它超越了"付出—回报"的传统叙 事,给出了一个更符合现代精神的答案:真正的亲情之爱,或许在于承认彼此的独立性,允许对方成 为"异路的同行者"。 亲子关系的真谛是适度的距离与清醒的自我,这才是健康情感的基石。电影以"恨"为镜,照见的实则是 爱的救赎可能。它让我们看到,唯有承认关系的脆弱与个体的局限,以柔软化解尖锐,才能让那些因爱 而生的刺,最终转化为守护彼此的铠甲。这不仅是陈露与小池的故事,也是许多在亲情中挣扎与成长的 现代人的共同课题。 □王丽玲 "妈妈,你会像电影里那样'恨'我吗?"这个提问,精准地触及了电影《最恨我爱你》的核心议题:中国 式家庭中,那种以"爱"为名、却又充满伤害与控制的共生关系。这部作品没有满足于对亲子矛盾的简单 呈现,而是以冷静克制的镜头,深入剖析了其背后复杂的情感结构与伦理困境,最终指向"放手"与"独 立"这一更具现代性的亲情命题。 影片中 ...
孩子迷恋网络小说 家长应该如何引导?
Xin Lang Cai Jing· 2025-12-23 19:08
青春期的孩子,要"疏"不要"堵",简单的禁止或强行没收电子产品,不但会影响亲子关系,还可能让孩 子的阅读沉迷于"地下",变得更隐蔽,更不好监管。所以,家长要抱着融入的态度,跟孩子"对话",而 不是抱着家长式的权威跟孩子"对抗"。可以先肯定孩子,夸赞其爱读书的好习惯。然后聊一聊哪部小说 吸引了她,吸引她的原因是什么,让孩子也推荐几部她喜欢的小说,家长也亲自去看看,看完后平和地 跟孩子聊聊感想,碰撞一下思维,还可以在孩子说得好的时候大力肯定其有思想,取得孩子的信赖。 时间长了,就以自己看网络小说太伤眼睛为由,买一些跟网络小说同类型或同名的纸质书,摆放在家中 的各个角落,如客厅的沙发扶手上、餐厅的餐边柜上、卫生间的洗衣机上、卧室的床头边等,让书籍随 手可取,随时可翻阅,营造阅读的空间。家长一定要真正阅读纸质书,给孩子做表率,当读到真正吸引 人的纸质书时,也可以推荐给孩子,不必期待孩子很快来阅读,在吃饭聊天时讲个书中有趣的故事情 节,夸赞一下主人公的精彩表现,营造阅读的氛围,吸引孩子。这需要长期的坚持和耐心的等待,不能 急于求成。 当孩子周末用电子产品看网络小说时间太长时,家长可坦诚地表达担忧,如"担心眼睛会受损,视 ...
家庭教育的顺序,千万不要搞反了
洞见· 2025-12-22 12:35
作者:秒懂青少年 来源:秒懂青少年 (ID: miaodongqingshaonian) 价值观点燃行动,习惯承载行动。 ♬ 点上方播放按钮可收听洞见主播周周朗读音频 我先问大家三个问题: 为什么同样的教育方法,有的父母用了无效,有的父母用完孩子却会主动学习? 为什么别人家孩子成绩能稳步上升,而你家孩子越管越糟? 洞见 ( DJ00123987 ) —— 不一样的观点,不一样的故事, 3000 万人订阅的微信大号。点击标题下蓝字 " 洞见 " 关注,我们将为您提供有价值、有意思的 延伸阅读。 为什么你讲道理、说方法、讲道理、买课、请家教,孩子仍然不愿意读书? 很多父母以为,家庭教育就是先抓学习方法,学习效率,先解决成绩。 于是你会做的事,比很多人努力:报补习班、上辅导课,盯作业、买资料,晚上开家庭会议,每周总结孩子问题,手机锁、断网、监督。 可结果却异常类似:你越努力,孩子越反抗。你越焦虑,孩子越逃离。 这是因为,你把顺序搞反了。 真正正确的教育逻辑,是一条从心到行为的因果链:关系 → 气氛 → 价值观 → 习惯 → 成绩 只要你从任何一个中间环节开始切入,都等于逆流而上。 孩子不是机器,不能先装成绩系统,再 ...
发现一个残忍真相:不管你多爱自己的儿女,不遗余力供他们上大学,把他们抚养成人,给他们最好的,他们也不一定会像你爱他们那样爱你
洞见· 2025-12-21 12:20
洞见 ( DJ00123987 ) —— 不一样的观点,不一样的故事, 3000 万人订阅的微信大号。点击标题下 蓝字 " 洞见 " 关注,我们将为您提供有价值、有意思的延伸阅读。 作者: 猪妈妈 来源: 新东方家庭教育 (ID: xdfjtjy) 不绑架孩子,不迷失自己。 ♬ 点上方播放按钮可收听 洞见主播晏娇朗读音频 周末,去参加一位阿姨的生日宴。 本该热闹的场合,却因大家无心的一句"孩子怎么没回来",气氛骤变。 阿姨失落地说: "回来?昨天从早到晚,一个电话都没有。我忍不住打过去,说'在忙'。 今早才发来消息,说祝我'生日快乐',还不知道,是不是有人提醒。 老李说我'想多了',我看啊,是看明白了—— 这不管你多爱子女,供他们上学,给他们最好的,费尽心力培养成人......他也不会像你爱他那 样爱你。 你们现在孩子还小,还依赖父母,等大点,就有体会了。" 虽然付出时,并没想回报;但当真收不到任何回应,或等来的反是埋怨时,那种失落感,又真 实而沉重。 回来路上,我一直想着阿姨的话。 或许,不用等到孩子上大学、工作、成家……很多父母,就已经有过类似的感受: 放假回家,孩子宁愿猫在房间里,也不愿陪我们出门散会儿 ...
想让孩子远离手机,家长要做这5件事
Jing Ji Guan Cha Bao· 2025-12-12 06:48
(原标题:想让孩子远离手机,家长要做这5件事) 近日,央视新闻记者就此问题,采访了腾讯客服未成年人保护营地教育负责人马滢。她表示,"断网、 封号、摔手机、限制、强管,都是以损伤亲子关系为代价的。你要解决这个问题,就先要解决亲子关系 问题。" 一、孩子依赖手机的背后 是未被看见的心理需求 孩子沉迷网络只是表象,其背后是孩子没被看见的心理需求。有心理研究者表示,孩子爱玩手机的背 后,折射着他们在现实生活中无法被看见的诉求,无法被满足的渴望—— 手机像一扇通往外界的窗户,或一个情绪的避风港。当孩子体验到负面情绪,他们会习惯躲进网络世 界,让快乐和庞杂的信息来转移自己的注意力,缓解情绪压力。比如,当孩子在现实生活中无法体验到 有力的社会支持,就会转而去虚拟世界中寻找归属。 很多家长习惯于关注孩子的行为,然后去矫正这些行为。但事实上,任何行为的背后,都有其深层次的 意义。这其中代表着冲突的部分,往往是一种信号,更是解决问题的开关。 03 让亲子时间取代屏幕时间 二、5个简单方法 让孩子远离手机 想要降低孩子对手机的需求,家长要在看见孩子真正心理需求的基础上,去用更丰富而饱满的体验,去 替代那些手机能带给孩子的东西—— ...
“踩”着孩子过河,教育的本质是父母的自身醒悟!
Jing Ji Guan Cha Bao· 2025-12-09 01:39
当生命的存在看似出现问题时,那是"头脑"出了问题。-"谁制造出了一个有问题的小孩?" 从根源上来讲,是我们创造了一些问题概念,然后投射在孩子身上,我们把一块完美无瑕的玉看成了一 块丑陋的石头。 如果我们认为小孩有问题时,请先静下来,让自己反着思考试试,在自身寻找一下问题的根源。 01你的恐惧越多你要求孩子的就越多 (原标题:"踩"着孩子过河,教育的本质是父母的自身醒悟!) 对于一个家庭来讲,家长是树根,孩子是花朵,如果花朵有问题,多半是树根也有问题。 家长们常常"看到"的孩子的问题,其实是他自己的问题在孩子身上的"开花"。家长意味着"头脑",孩子 代表着"心"。 如果你是一个恐惧的家长,你就会有一个有问题的小孩。你的恐惧越大,你眼中小孩的问题就越多。 恐惧导致控制、导致要求。你越恐惧,你越倾向于去把握住某种东西,以让自己有安全感。 掌控者是头脑,而小孩通常都是自由的心,他们像水一样流动,很难被掌控。这使得你越想抓住、越想 驾驭、越想掌控,越抓不住,越驾驭不了,越掌控不住。你的恐惧越多,你要求孩子就越多,因而你眼 中小孩的问题也就越多。 小孩是一个有很多问题的小孩,真是这样吗?没有你的恐惧,没有你的压制或强力控 ...
从宋代学堂到科技园 快手《小铁环游记》杭州站多时空探讨亲子关系
Yang Guang Wang· 2025-11-19 07:56
Core Insights - The article discusses the successful conclusion of the Kuaishou parent-child IP "Little Iron's Journey" in Hangzhou, which achieved over 4 billion total views and over 10 million views for its main and preview content, marking a significant breakthrough in parent-child content dissemination [1][2]. Group 1: Program Overview - "Little Iron's Journey" features a unique blend of historical and modern themes, introducing celebrity guests and a "time travel" concept through a series of 10 micro-episodes and 6 special short films [2]. - The program allows children to experience different historical periods, including the Song Dynasty, the 1980s, and modern technology, fostering a rich cultural exploration [4]. Group 2: Brand Collaboration - JD.com's sponsorship of the program aligns with its brand philosophy, promoting quality time between parents and children after school through its "Stationery 3:30" initiative [4]. - The program emphasizes the emotional connection between parents and children through the use of various historical stationery, illustrating a multi-generational narrative of learning and growth [4]. Group 3: Content Strategy - The core competitive advantage of "Little Iron's Journey" lies in its authentic experiences, moving away from scripted narratives to encourage children to express themselves freely in unfamiliar settings [5]. - The program integrates deep cultural and tourism elements, enhancing the storytelling experience by showcasing local heritage and natural beauty [6]. Group 4: Emotional Engagement - The program explores the differences in parenting styles between the 1980s and today, advocating for reduced reliance on electronic devices and promoting outdoor exploration and hands-on creativity [8]. Group 5: Platform Ecosystem - The success of "Little Iron's Journey" is supported by Kuaishou's robust ecosystem, which includes a diverse array of influencers and a strong user base focused on parent-child education [9][10]. - The program's influencer strategy combines established stars with emerging talents, ensuring broad audience reach and effective brand integration [9].
梁鸿:抑郁的少年,是如何被大人「围困」的?
3 6 Ke· 2025-11-01 01:32
Core Insights - The book "要有光" by Liang Hong focuses on the psychological struggles of contemporary Chinese youth, highlighting the disconnect between parents and children in understanding each other's pain [2][6][28] - Liang Hong's investigation reveals a significant rise in mental health issues among adolescents, with 30% of depression patients being under 18, and 50% of these patients being students [2][7] Group 1: Psychological Issues Among Youth - The narrative includes the story of a girl named Min Min, who suffers from domestic violence and subsequently drops out of school for three years due to her mental health struggles [2][11] - The book emphasizes the increasing prevalence of depression among young people, with statistics indicating that 77% and 69% of student patients experience issues related to interpersonal and family relationships [2][7] - Liang Hong's research involved interviews with various stakeholders, including students, parents, teachers, and psychologists, to present a comprehensive view of the psychological landscape faced by youth in modern China [3][6] Group 2: Parental Relationships and Educational Pressures - The author discusses the challenges parents face in connecting with their children, often feeling helpless and confused about how to support them [7][8] - The book highlights the detrimental effects of high parental expectations and rigid educational systems, which can lead to severe mental health issues in children [19][20] - The experiences of different families illustrate the varying impacts of educational pressures, with some children feeling isolated and unsupported despite their parents' good intentions [19][21] Group 3: Support Systems and Community Responses - The narrative includes the role of a tutor named Uncle, who provides a safe space for troubled students, allowing them to express their feelings without judgment [14][15] - The book portrays the importance of creating dialogue between parents and children, as well as between parents and mental health professionals, to address the underlying issues of youth mental health [15][28] - The author aims to shed light on the complexities of these issues, encouraging readers to reflect on their own experiences and the societal factors contributing to youth mental health crises [28][30]
少和孩子生气吧,看完你就知道原因了(深度好文,别后悔太晚才看到)
Jing Ji Guan Cha Bao· 2025-10-30 10:21
Core Viewpoint - The article emphasizes the importance of parents managing their emotions and reducing anger towards their children, highlighting that children's misbehavior is often a result of their developmental stage rather than intentional defiance [2][3][7]. Group 1: Understanding Child Behavior - Children's disobedience is linked to the underdevelopment of their prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for self-control and emotional regulation, maturing around the age of 25 [2]. - Misbehavior such as spilling food or procrastination can stem from developmental limitations like poor hand coordination or lack of time awareness [3]. Group 2: The Shortness of Parent-Child Bonding Time - The emotional connection between parents and children diminishes as children grow, with significant bonding years being limited to early childhood [4][6]. - A calculation of time spent together shows that children rely on their parents less as they age, emphasizing the need for nurturing relationships during formative years [6]. Group 3: Consequences of Parental Anger - Frequent yelling can lead to children developing anxiety and low self-esteem, as they may internalize the belief that they are not good enough [7][10]. - The cycle of anger can exacerbate issues, creating a negative feedback loop where fear leads to further mistakes, which in turn leads to more anger from parents [11]. Group 4: Strategies for Parents - Parents are encouraged to use techniques such as the "pause method" to take a moment before reacting in anger, allowing for a more rational response [15][17]. - Practicing empathy by recalling their own childhood experiences can help parents understand their children's behavior better [18][19]. - Keeping an emotional diary can help parents identify the root causes of their anger, preventing them from projecting their frustrations onto their children [20][22]. - Accepting imperfection in parenting and communicating openly with children about feelings can foster a healthier relationship [24][26]. Group 5: Conclusion - The essence of education lies in the quality of the parent-child relationship, which should be characterized by patience and understanding rather than anger [27].